Stay High

14 02 2016

mc5I wrote “stay high” in one of my stoner girlfriends’ yearbooks in my Jr. year of high school. And she left her yearbook behind in class one day and the teacher opened it and started reading the comments.  So dude called my parents and said we needed to do a drug intervention with me, just because I told her to stay high.

I didn’t do drugs like those chicks.  They were way more mature and older than me.  I started school a year earlier than I should have so I was always with older kids in the same class and I witnessed things earlier than I should have.

They would come to school on Monday, after the weekend talking about taking LSD and Cocaine and having sex with their older boyfriends.  I just listened and let it roll off my back because I knew I was way too young for that business.  But they liked me a lot so they would travail me with these stories of slutty-hood and debauchery.

So I knew they liked to party and they were my friends in school so I wrote, “stay high” in her yearbook and the adults all freaked out on me.  And her too, but she laughed it off because her parents allowed her these luxuries.

But not mine, and not that I would have wanted to do that stuff at such a young age, I wouldn’t have.  They would tell me that I needed to take LSD with them and then they would “take advantage” of me in the bedroom.

Sounds about what every high school boy dreams of, it actually happened to me but I just put it out of my mind because I knew I was going on a mission for Jesus Christ when I was 19 and I had to remain pure as I could.  But I smoked a lot of weed, and drank alcohol and made out with a lot of chicks…I just never went all the way like those crazy chicas wanted me too.

And after the discovery of “stay high” in the yearbook, I was grounded for two months by my parents.  Man, that sucked.  I got grounded a lot, and for long times too because I did some stuff I should not have done, but it was never as severe as my parents imagined, and during lecture time I never said anything, just listened to them tell me what kind of trouble I was getting into for coming home smelling like smoke.

Man, I must have driven my parents nuts in my latter high school years.  They have no idea I was merely the celibate stoner.  I just liked my brain escape from the harshness of home, but I wasn’t out womanizing or anything like my other buddies were.

Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.

Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen

21 01 2015

vbpnderanceMany are called but few are chosen.

And why are they not chosen? Because they put their hearts and minds on the things of this world and wish for status and to dominate over others with authority.

We are all called to do a great work, and sometimes we are released from our callings, to see if we will continue in the work…and THAT is how we become Chosen.

It is a call to service, to keep the two great and only Commandments given to us by Christ. Love the Lord, and serve our brothers and sisters. The ten commandments were given to the Jews by Moses. These are OUR Commandments.

If we learn to do those two things while we are called, and continue to do them after we are released, we become Chosen.


3 01 2015

The ism’s, they come between good and evil to try and establish order when something went wrong. And the ism’s are put upon a society at large to pacify the braniacs who think they are in charge.

But God Almighty has something to say about all of it and He gave the world His Holy Son to show them the way and in the end they killed God’s given Salvation to mankind for pleasure and rank and status to dominate over others.

There is no dominion in Heaven except for my own, All those who follow shall lead, and those who have fallen shall be pacified, thus Saith the Lord of Hosts.

Parallels To Life – All Good Things

24 05 2014


The Red Hot Chili Peppers are my soundtrack.  Everything they produce parallels my life.  I don’t understand how or why, but it is what it is.  The more I’ve listened to interviews with them the more I’ve seen how organically they allow their music and lyrics to come to them, they tap into the best energy and they pray for inspiration.  I think that is beautiful.  How many rock and rollers do something like that?  Humble themselves before God before they create their art form.  I think that’s why I feel such a bond with them.  And it’s almost like they were made for me, to guide me through the world.

I have them, and I have my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It’s bizarre, and I lov

e my life as kooky and psychedelic and funky as it is.  It’s full energy, full throttle, full-time and I freaking love it!  That’s why I’m a lone wolf though.  Few people can keep up with me.  Gary Piazza is one of my friends who can though.  He freaking rocks it like the Rockingfreakapotamus.  I love that dude so much!  He has helped me in my journey through life to find myself and to help me heal from my battle wounds from when I was living like a gypsy.  He has shared some good words of encouragement and good words of wisdom along the way that have set me straight when I was way off course…and he doesn’t even know it.  That’s what’s so awesome about good friends.  They genuinely care and love, and that’s how I feel about everyone.

I don’t know how I became this way.  I think it’s a gift from God.  But I do feel love for all of God’s creations from the Rhinoceros to the creepiest spider lurking in the darkness to all of humanity, even the stupid people.  But if I disagree with you I’ll let you know because I care about people, and I think I have been given a gift of clarity and seeing truth.  I try not to boast or seem arrogant and I come off that way sometimes.  I’m just blessed because I asked God on my knees in prayer to help me understand certain things.  And He has taken me through experiences in life and shown me things that most people don’t see.  And it’s not because I’m better than anyone, because I’m not.  It’s just because I asked the right questions, because I’m curious, and I kept my mind open to the possibilities and the answers, the answers that I knew not to expect, but to be taught, things that were unknown to me.

And He had to teach me line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little.  Because there had to be a foundation and a reference or a standard for me to measure things against as He taught me greater truth and knowledge, things that were previously unknown, incomprehensible to my mind.

It’s been quite a journey, but that’s why I was so out there for so many years.  I was gaining knowledge and wisdom.  I’ve been blessed and gifted and all I want to do with the rest of my life is share what I have been given.  Because I have been given much, I must give.

Why I Went To Rehab And Then Did Not

19 03 2014

duckbottleSo I’ve struggled with something they call addiction most of my life.  It’s a monkey I carry around with me and sometimes having a monkey around isn’t really all that bad.  Monkeys can be a lot of fun but they’re mischievous little buggers.  You just have to make sure to keep grinding the Organ to keep them happy and feed them peanuts once in a while.

And I got tired of feeding the monkey, taming that  little bastard and keeping him at bay.

Click here to see how I felt –> Wiped Out!

So, I decided that after a seven year binge of escapism and figuring out what this crazy world is all about, what it all means, where I fit in and where I need to go to take my place in the Plan, I decided to clean up and go to rehab.

I went to rehab because I was done checking out of reality.  I checked out because of the unimaginable pain that I went through having had my family taken from me, and then making some mistakes because of my fragile emotional state, with Erica, falling so in love with such a beautiful woman, such a lovely person.  I will never stop loving her.  She is incredible and taught me so much about myself and about life and gave me Max; that precious angel from heaven.

But she has moved on and she and Max are being well taken care of, and I am so blessed to know, to have the comfort that all is well with them.  Because I was beaten down and broken and tossed out with the trash when I found myself in need.  But those who did it to me didn’t know what they were doing.  They didn’t understand where I was coming from or who I was or what my true potential was.

This life sometimes plays out as a fantasy, and so many people imagine their future dreams as nothing more than unachievable fantasies and then they accept the shortcomings and mediocrity they are given as a consequence of their lack of faith and perseverance.

And I don’t say that because I think people are weak or bad or that they don’t have integrity or that their worth is not great.  It’s just that so many of us have such big dreams, but we are beaten down by the distractions of this world that we forget about our big dreams, so we live our broken dreams and accept the little pieces we can pick up as we move on, living in hindsight, trying to somehow relive the past by projecting it on the future and in so doing we often times find ourselves on a course we didn’t mean to embark upon.

But there we are, so we walk that course, and are somewhat lost, but accept the mediocrity we have created having not achieved our broken dreams.

But not me.  And I went to rehab to prove to everyone that I was, once and for all, done with the bullcrap.

But I chose a particular rehab center called Renaissance Ranch in Utah County.  This rehab purports to be associated with the LDS church.  And I’ve been to the LDS church’s Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) and I’ve also been to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).  I hate AA because it’s nothing more than a bunch of alcoholics who have quit drinking but can’t shake the monkey of addiction so they have replaced their alcohol and drug abuse with those meetings, and in the meetings they tell war stories of their battles when they were out their using and abusing.  And each story is nothing more than a glory-days walk through the past to remember how horrible and debaucherous their lives once were.

That’s not recovery, that’s living in the past.

So when I was sold this $16,000, 60 day Renaissance Ranch package it sounded like a great alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous oriented drug and alcohol rehabilitation.  I thought we would have access to doctors and counselors; professionals who understood where we were coming from and where we were headed, who understood that we needed healing, real healing and not a band-aid approach to pacifying the monkey, rather killing the monkey and getting rid of him for good.

And they said they did it all under the guise of LDS principles, using the healing of the Atonement of Christ and following the teachings of the gospel.

But when I got there it was nothing like that.  It was a bunch of petulant young guys who were full of anger and who did nothing more than point their fingers at each other, call each other out for the things they found wrong with one another, and then turned on themselves to tell the group why they were so screwed up.  There was no talk of healing, there was no talk of the principles of the Atonement of Christ.  Once in a while there would be a prayer and once in a while one of the counselors might refer to the scriptures for reference to a teaching.  But there was nothing close to feeling the Holy Spirit in that place.  It was cold and dank, void of the spirit, void of love.  It was full of ego and self importance, full of a bunch of guys who thought they had all the answers for everyone else but no answers for how to manage their own personal selves.

So after three days, in a group meeting after they called me out one time too many I finally opened up and told them that the whole thing was a sham.  That I was sick of the vulgarity, sick of not hearing any gospel teachings as I was sold on, sick of hearing everyone point fingers at each other and sick of these people not having a freaking clue what it takes to truly heal a broken soul.

Band-aid approaches, and you know why?  It’s a bunch of owners and administrators who are self-righteous know-it-alls using their memberships in the LDS church to attract LDS people who have addiction problems to make money under the guise of addiction recovery.  And they’re a bunch of charlatans, just like our doctors, our pill pushing pharmaceutical industry, our politicians, it’s all a ploy to line their pockets, to support their families and while they do some good, their hearts are in it only for themselves and not for the individuals.  They claim to love the individuals and while they may show care toward them, they don’t really.  They just want them to be part of the flock of sheep, part of the group, to fit the marching orders of the category in which they are classified.

And I don’t put up with that crap so I split.  And my family is livid with me.  But I have to do what I have to do because I know what I’m doing and I always have and I’m sick to death of being told what I should be doing and how I should be doing it because those who tell me those things are the ones who have mocked me, put me down, picked on me and treated me like I don’t matter when they have no understanding of the great things I do that they never ever see or care to know about.

And I’m not angry, I’m just fed up.  Like when Christ cleansed the temple.  He wasn’t angry, he was just done with all the nonsense and petulance and did what He had to do because His Father told him to.

I’m Vaughn Hocksworth Brown and I approve this message.

It Is Time To Take A Stand. Where Do You Stand?

17 03 2014

This country is under siege and it’s time to take it back. No more time to mess around.

Civil War is upon us. It is a war for our minds, bodies and spirits and is as real as our first Civil War and the cost is even greater this time!

It’s time for those of us with the integrity, the strength, the fortitude and the balls to stand up and make a difference or we are lost as a sovereign nation, sold out to the special interests of the Global Elite. I will fight with my very life to see that this does not happen.

This blog is my online voice. I challenge any and all of you who want to put up and do more than just speak words but come to action.

This is your call to duty.  I am calling everyone out.  Who am I?  I am an American who cares and who is giving the rest of my life to fight for the cause of freedom.

America is dying and we, The People are the last bastion of hope in the last bastion of Freedom and Liberty this world has and will ever know.

The rest of the world is sold out, its foundation has crumbled and is decaying from the cancerous tumors of Socialist, Communist ideology. The economies of the world are dead and in the hands of the power elites. Obama, Putin, China, Iran and the corporate, wealthy, power elites, controlling the Shadow Governments of the world are now in charge.

We The People must stand up with our very lives or our very lives and liberties will be sold out and our children with have NOTHING.

Is that what we want for our future generations? If we do nothing but sit idly by and allow Hillary Clinton and the Obama Administration to continue to usurp power and our liberties, we are at fault for the crisis that befalls our precious children. The sin is on our heads. I will not allow that to happen. Don’t you allow it to happen either. Standing back and saying you have no voice and no power is a lie and an excuse to let hell come in and destroy light, liberty and life.

We can not sit idly by and give up believing that Christ will come swooping in to save us.  We are HIS to stand up and prepare HIS way.  If we do nothing, he can do nothing for us.

Many are called but few are chosen.  And why are they not chosen?  Because of all I have said above and because they have their heads down to the ground worrying about their finances, their mortgages, their credit problems, their retirements and their luxuries, looking to the day they can relax and stop working.  Well life does not stop just because we want to relax.  We have been called, do not allow yourself to be overlooked and fail to be chosen because we all have a purpose until the very last day of our very last breath.

Stand up, your God given life, the breath you breathe and the intelligence that flows in your bloodstream was divinely given to you, to live on earth at this time, to serve a greater purpose, a purpose far greater than juggling your finances and making sure your beautiful yard is greener than that of your neighbors.

Your recreation and your vacations and your luxuries and your precious electronic devices will decay with your freedoms if you do nothing but sit back and watch. It is on YOUR heads for doing nothing

Do not be part of the problem. BE the solution. DO NOT be one of Marx’s useful idiots as the cancer of Socialism and Communism and any other ‘ism’ is allowed to destroy goodness, innocence, morality, character, virtue, common sense, natural law and a reverence for the very God who gives us the privilege to draw breath every day, to serve Him and our Master Jesus Christ, not to serve ourselves but to serve others, according to the first and second great commandments.

It is time to rise, to stand up for the cause of Liberty or lose it forever.

Join Me!!!

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