Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

23 12 2015

ringsAt this Christmas Season I have to give thanks for the greatest things in my life.

It may seem odd because of the things she says about me, but first of all I am grateful for my mom. She taught me some great principles early in life that helped me build a strong foundation up on which I’ve built my life, and my self, and most importantly my testimony in Christ; which is my rock and the essence of my foundation, which gives me strength to stand and move forward with a smile and humor and love

I may seem somewhat rebellious, I’m not really, I just do not conform to societal norms, and that makes me seem rebellious, to society, and to what is generally deemed ‘normal’.

chainsAnd in reality, those are the things that my mother taught me, to stand up for what I believe in and love what it is feels right in my heart despite the pressures of peer persuasion.

So in teaching me that, which was what she did, and it was the right thing, she did not understand that she was teaching me to rise above the expectations of others, and carve my own groove, even if it did not resonate harmoniously with the vibrations of those around me.

Because my vibe is one of peace, that I love, and it’s ironic that everyone who I spend time with loves the time we’ve spent together, yet my family finds my life somehow unacceptable.I know ma ABCs!

But that’s the funny thing about life. We learn to love things in our personal ways that only we understand by having to endure the uncomfortableness and displeasure required to know the joys of life.

And that is why older people are calm and wise and happy and patient and find joy in small and simple things, such as the noise children make or the chirping of birds early in the morning, that used to annoy us as young people.

IMG_1679.CR2I am thankful for my dad. We don’t speak anymore because we are two completely different people. But he showed me by example all my life to be just like him, but taught my through principles and lessons of love to become my own person and achieve those things I love by not being concerned with what other people think of me.

Which is ironic too, because he was always concerned about what I did, because of the way it would reflect on him, but he made me into the unique and somewhat rebellious, flowery, charismatic and creative, artistic person I became whether he knows it or not. In our times of private discussion, that I used to hate because they were arduous and almost abusive lectures, he taught me grit, integrity, strength and tenacity that I couldn’t have gotten on the football field or basketball court or anywhere else in life.

He made me the compassionate badass that I am today, and I am grateful because he gave me the strength to endure the almost unendurable pains of life after divorce, losing everything I ever wanted, to find myself again and have meaning and purpose in life every new day, to wake up, even if I’m alone with a smile, and laugh and make every day worth while.

_DSC0079.NEFAnd I love my sister, Shannon, who I miss so much. We had so much fun growing up. She has a wonderful husband and wonderful kids, I’m so proud of her I can’t even put it into words.

And my friends. You know who you are, no need to give names or a list. We will be together in spirit or in body or on the other side. Get some and Go Again!

maxfeetAnd of course my children. I may not be with them, but I am with them because I made them and I am a part of them, I am in their hearts whether they think of me or not, and they are in mine and we exist because of one another and they give me joy and strength in this life to endure until the next life where there will be no sadness or memories of loss. All joy and love. So that is why I just love them so much, because they honor me by being just like me even though they don’t even realize they are.

They are kooky, hilarious, musical, creative, artistic, brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous, compassionate, unique, beacons of badassery and brightness, just like I taught them to me, each an individual, each of them together as one.

idahomountainsThank God for my life and for my Savior Jesus Christ who made this life possible and who make it possible for me to have the love for these wonderful people I love and that I will be able to love them for eternity.

Merry Christmas. Remember what this holiday season is. It’s not to get presents or eat food or have blinking lights on a tree. It’s to remember that we have a Savior who made it possible for us to have the joys we feel at this holiday season. Without Him, we would not know this happiness. Give thanks, and make the world a better place in 2016.

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Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.





Full Circle, the Process of Life

12 09 2014

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Wow, life has a way of coming full circle and giving you closure on things you’ve even forgotten about. Things that were seemingly meaningless but that were a large part of your life at a certain time. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

I love music, I’m passionate about it and when I find music that just makes me feel a certain emotion or that touches on a certain vibration within me I have to embrace it. And I don’t care how it sounds to others or how they take it or even if they like it or not. And while I was in my 20s I had a lot of music like this, while my friends listened to mainstream pop, alternative rock and the stuff that was more palatable, I would often stumble upon bands that were in obscurity as far as mass popularity goes, but I would hear them, and if they resonated on that same vibrational wavelength I was on, I naturally integrated them into my music repertoire

Having said that, I am referring to a band called Mission of Burma. I was given a recording of their album VS. by my then girlfriend Sherrie Jacobs and told that I would enjoy them. It was a blank cassette tape and she had told me the name of the band, which I quickly forgot, so I knew the music, but not the name. So I gave them a listen and they soothed my restless soul while rock and roll music was being adulterated by the excesses and debauchery of LA’s now infamous Sunset Strip. And just like when I discovered the Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction, Mission of Burma stayed in my cassette player for two months on continuous rotation as I drove to and from work in the Portland/Vancouver area and round and round, here and there working my way through the social network of young adult life.

This was in 1987, and they were a wonderful coupling along with my newly discovered enjoyment of The Red Hot Chili Peppers and then, just around the corner, thankfully, who saved rock and roll from its circling the bathtub drain, Jane’s Addiction.

And then, some 27 years later I am driving across the country from Salt Lake City to Seattle with a new friend, Hans, who I only met the day we left by a craigslist post for a ride. And while we are talking about music and I was introducing him to fIREHOSE and The Minutemen, he then told me that I should listen to Mission of Burma, because fIREHOSE sounds a lot like them.  So after I settled down in Auburn, WA after a couple of weeks I did seek out and find Mission of Burma, and I was taken aback and slammed into a flashback that was purely sublime, remembering that obscure blank cassette tape that Sherri gave me when I left her just a couple of months before.





Photography and Art of Vaughn Hocksworth Brown

24 01 2011

This is an image I created using a photograph of my friend Cydney‘s eye.  She has the most alluring and beautiful blue eyes.  They are as captivating as she is.  I overlayed an image of a drawing I did back in college.  I call this image The Eyes Have It.  A dumb title but fitting.

I shot this at Yellowstone back in the summer of 2006.  My friend Lance and I saw The Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Delta Center and drove all night to Yellowstone right after the show for a week of getaway and soul finding with nature.  What an experience that was.  Yellowstone captured my heart that week and I captured this picture.

My bro, Kajol.  His name is Aaron but we all call him Kajol, and he has a son he named Kajol for real.  He sings for a band called Alias Code and used to sing for Separation of Self before the breakup.  We did this photo shoot at the Bonneville Salt Flats, one of my favorite spots on the planet.  Kajol cut his dreads after 14 years.  He’s now a handsome respectable looking fellow who is having a slight identity crisis with the new, clean cut image.

I took this picture downtown Portland, Oregon in a parking garage.  The orange wall was a brilliant color with the black sign and stark white lettering.  Nothing special about the photo itself but I love the  lines and  color.

My friend, Leah.  She was dancing at a barn party when I snapped this pic.  She wasn’t posing, it just came out so nicely.   A nice seductive and accidental pose, I love it.  She’s a beautiful and statuesque woman, complex and wonderful.  I’d love to do a photo shoot with her.  Maybe I should ask!

A shot I took at the Art Walk in northeast Portland in the spring of 2010.  Brass Armonica was performing their musical and visual style of expression.  It was something I can dig but not something I could get into myself without large doses of mind altering chemicals.  They made for great photography subjects though!

This is the road that leads to the Bonneville Salt Flats.  It seems there is always a storm brewing in the distance while this long and lonesome road leads to the beautiful purity of the snow white plains that are the salt flats.  It is a spectacular thing to behold.

This is a silly picture but I like the colors and lighting.  Back in 2007 I was invited to the wedding of a sorority sister of my then girlfriend.  She was given the task of choosing the shoes for the bridesmaids.  I took this picture to show all the bridesmaids the subtle differences between the two pairs of shoes.  That woman taught me an appreciation for womenfolk’s shoes.








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