Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

23 12 2015

ringsAt this Christmas Season I have to give thanks for the greatest things in my life.

It may seem odd because of the things she says about me, but first of all I am grateful for my mom. She taught me some great principles early in life that helped me build a strong foundation up on which I’ve built my life, and my self, and most importantly my testimony in Christ; which is my rock and the essence of my foundation, which gives me strength to stand and move forward with a smile and humor and love

I may seem somewhat rebellious, I’m not really, I just do not conform to societal norms, and that makes me seem rebellious, to society, and to what is generally deemed ‘normal’.

chainsAnd in reality, those are the things that my mother taught me, to stand up for what I believe in and love what it is feels right in my heart despite the pressures of peer persuasion.

So in teaching me that, which was what she did, and it was the right thing, she did not understand that she was teaching me to rise above the expectations of others, and carve my own groove, even if it did not resonate harmoniously with the vibrations of those around me.

Because my vibe is one of peace, that I love, and it’s ironic that everyone who I spend time with loves the time we’ve spent together, yet my family finds my life somehow unacceptable.I know ma ABCs!

But that’s the funny thing about life. We learn to love things in our personal ways that only we understand by having to endure the uncomfortableness and displeasure required to know the joys of life.

And that is why older people are calm and wise and happy and patient and find joy in small and simple things, such as the noise children make or the chirping of birds early in the morning, that used to annoy us as young people.

IMG_1679.CR2I am thankful for my dad. We don’t speak anymore because we are two completely different people. But he showed me by example all my life to be just like him, but taught my through principles and lessons of love to become my own person and achieve those things I love by not being concerned with what other people think of me.

Which is ironic too, because he was always concerned about what I did, because of the way it would reflect on him, but he made me into the unique and somewhat rebellious, flowery, charismatic and creative, artistic person I became whether he knows it or not. In our times of private discussion, that I used to hate because they were arduous and almost abusive lectures, he taught me grit, integrity, strength and tenacity that I couldn’t have gotten on the football field or basketball court or anywhere else in life.

He made me the compassionate badass that I am today, and I am grateful because he gave me the strength to endure the almost unendurable pains of life after divorce, losing everything I ever wanted, to find myself again and have meaning and purpose in life every new day, to wake up, even if I’m alone with a smile, and laugh and make every day worth while.

_DSC0079.NEFAnd I love my sister, Shannon, who I miss so much. We had so much fun growing up. She has a wonderful husband and wonderful kids, I’m so proud of her I can’t even put it into words.

And my friends. You know who you are, no need to give names or a list. We will be together in spirit or in body or on the other side. Get some and Go Again!

maxfeetAnd of course my children. I may not be with them, but I am with them because I made them and I am a part of them, I am in their hearts whether they think of me or not, and they are in mine and we exist because of one another and they give me joy and strength in this life to endure until the next life where there will be no sadness or memories of loss. All joy and love. So that is why I just love them so much, because they honor me by being just like me even though they don’t even realize they are.

They are kooky, hilarious, musical, creative, artistic, brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous, compassionate, unique, beacons of badassery and brightness, just like I taught them to me, each an individual, each of them together as one.

idahomountainsThank God for my life and for my Savior Jesus Christ who made this life possible and who make it possible for me to have the love for these wonderful people I love and that I will be able to love them for eternity.

Merry Christmas. Remember what this holiday season is. It’s not to get presents or eat food or have blinking lights on a tree. It’s to remember that we have a Savior who made it possible for us to have the joys we feel at this holiday season. Without Him, we would not know this happiness. Give thanks, and make the world a better place in 2016.

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Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.





Full Circle, the Process of Life

12 09 2014

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Wow, life has a way of coming full circle and giving you closure on things you’ve even forgotten about. Things that were seemingly meaningless but that were a large part of your life at a certain time. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

I love music, I’m passionate about it and when I find music that just makes me feel a certain emotion or that touches on a certain vibration within me I have to embrace it. And I don’t care how it sounds to others or how they take it or even if they like it or not. And while I was in my 20s I had a lot of music like this, while my friends listened to mainstream pop, alternative rock and the stuff that was more palatable, I would often stumble upon bands that were in obscurity as far as mass popularity goes, but I would hear them, and if they resonated on that same vibrational wavelength I was on, I naturally integrated them into my music repertoire

Having said that, I am referring to a band called Mission of Burma. I was given a recording of their album VS. by my then girlfriend Sherrie Jacobs and told that I would enjoy them. It was a blank cassette tape and she had told me the name of the band, which I quickly forgot, so I knew the music, but not the name. So I gave them a listen and they soothed my restless soul while rock and roll music was being adulterated by the excesses and debauchery of LA’s now infamous Sunset Strip. And just like when I discovered the Chili Peppers and Jane’s Addiction, Mission of Burma stayed in my cassette player for two months on continuous rotation as I drove to and from work in the Portland/Vancouver area and round and round, here and there working my way through the social network of young adult life.

This was in 1987, and they were a wonderful coupling along with my newly discovered enjoyment of The Red Hot Chili Peppers and then, just around the corner, thankfully, who saved rock and roll from its circling the bathtub drain, Jane’s Addiction.

And then, some 27 years later I am driving across the country from Salt Lake City to Seattle with a new friend, Hans, who I only met the day we left by a craigslist post for a ride. And while we are talking about music and I was introducing him to fIREHOSE and The Minutemen, he then told me that I should listen to Mission of Burma, because fIREHOSE sounds a lot like them.  So after I settled down in Auburn, WA after a couple of weeks I did seek out and find Mission of Burma, and I was taken aback and slammed into a flashback that was purely sublime, remembering that obscure blank cassette tape that Sherri gave me when I left her just a couple of months before.





Late Spring Images

17 05 2011

This is the main thoroughfare bisecting Riverton, Utah early Sunday morning.  Not a car in sight so I stepped out into the street for a little grin, grin, snap, snap of the deserted ro-wad.  That’s the Wasatch Mountains in the distance, the western-most range of the Rockies.  What you see to the right and way off in the distance behind everything is the peaks of Mt. Timpanogos.

This is an extreme close-up of the eyeball of an Arabian horse that lives next door.  She was leaning over the fence to eat the tall grass in our yard so I went out to feed her and got some good pictures.  This one got a good reflection of me in her eyeball hole.

Here she is chowin’ down

And one more just to show her beautiful smile.  She needs to learn not to chew with her mouth open.





An Idealist’s Dream

17 05 2011

I have so many thoughts, ideas and things that make sense to me but sometimes I have trouble executing them.

What if there were a group of people who could have access to my ideas and really take them seriously?

Then CulturTree happened.  Whoa!

New Subject:

People stand strong on their principles and move forward with vigor, passion, rancor…whatever fuel gives them the power to believe.  Too often people believe what they hear or they believe little more than how they interpret headlines without understanding details and truth.  Quips and bumper stickers, signs and chants do not teach or develop understanding; they merely get attention.

What kills me is the thinking of the 99 percenters, for example.  They have a mob mentality, believing in an ideology most of them do not understand.

I love nutty people and ‘out-of-the-box’ ideas, but these people are straight-up crazy!

I say that because I’ve visited the ‘Occupy’ campers in Portland, Seattle and Las Vegas and found that they really are quite confused about what they believe.  The only thing they are certain about is that they are opposed to so much.  And the most dangerous element to their dogma is that they don’t even understand what it is they disbelieve; and that’s why they find it so easy to hate.  All they know for sure is that they are in opposition to the establishment.

So many of the Occupiers are nothing more than insignificant elements in a giant monkey wrenching mob.  Their individuality and freedoms are so easily given to those who tell them what to say and what to hate.

Of course this does not apply to all of the Occupiers, however it does apply to almost all of them to whom I have spoken.

There was one very sharp member of the Anonymous group who I met in Las Vegas and who demonstrated a good understanding of our Constitution, what freedom and liberty mean and who was even familiar with Dr. Bruce Lipton and Epigenetics.  I was impressed and we had a great conversation that lasted a couple of hours.  He even called Obama a dictator, which made me laugh, but he added that all of our Presidents are dictators.  That was the end of the conversation for me.  Those broad generalizations are counter productive.

Healthy debate is the key to enlightenment.  If more people would openly seek greater understanding and be willing to break down their misunderstandings this world would be full of truth and progress (not progressivISM).

Question everything and learn for yourself the truth of all things!





Two more images

3 05 2011

This one I call ‘I against I’.  I made a mistake and began to fill it in with colored pencils and hated the results.  Wish I hadn’t done that!

This is a portrait of a friend of mine, Dave Norton.  I met him years ago in Provo, Utah.  He is the younger brother of one of my neighbors and we became friends.  He was only sixteen years old, I was ten years older but he had some serious life experience under his belt and he was searching for something, I found him to be a sincere and talented young kid.





My Art, My Mind

30 04 2011

Here are a few more drawings I have from years gone by.  I have debated whether or not to share them but I decided it’s a good idea.

You can click the images for larger views.

This one I did while living in Seattle in the spring of 1992.  I was a young man and somewhat of a rebel.  I’m much smarter, or maybe just wiser these days.

...it's a lie

This one is exactly as titled.  After going through my teens and getting into my mid twenties I was forced to confront a huge inferiority complex and admit to myself that I was insecure and scared of the world.  I was an actor playing a role of confidence and seeking thrills to mask the fear, seeking chills to mask the pain.

...get yours today!

just fine, thanks!








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