Chris Cornell did not kill himself

6 11 2018

Chris Cornell was About To Expose Elite Pedophile Ring Before He Died

By: Jay Greenberg
Neonettle.com

As the world still mourns the loss of legendary Audioslave and Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell, more information begins to emerge that adds further speculation about his suspicious, premature death.

Rockstar Cornell worked closely with various foundations to help and protect children from pedophilia and child trafficking.

Speaking to TMD, a source close to Cornell has come forward claiming that he had uncovered evidence of a “cocaine and child trafficking ring in Mena, Arkansas, that was tied to Bill and Hillary Clinton.

According to the source, Mr. Cornell had uncovered the identities of high-level Elites that were part of the same “Satanic Illuminati Occult Operation” as the Clintons and planned on exposing their “goings-on” right before he died.

Cornell’s death was officially ruled as a suicide, but his family and close friends say he was in no way suicidal, which has raised more than a few doubts about his untimely passing.

chris cornell s wife says she wants the truth about her husband s death
© press – Chris Cornell’s wife says she wants the truth about her husband’s death

 TMD reports: The biggest theory floating around the internet is that the monsters behind PedoGate allegedly marked Chris for assassination due to his work with “sexually & physically abused kids” via several foundations.Let’s back up a bit first. A man who worked under Hillary Clinton at the State Department named Howard Gutman, Ambassador to Belgium, was busted for having sex with children in 2013, but it was all swept under the rug. That’s a fact. Never heard of him on the mainstream news, huh?

LAURA SILSBY, WASHINGTON PEDOPHILES & BLACK HOLE SUN

In 2010, Laura Silsby was arrested at the Haitian border attempting to smuggle 33 children out of Haiti.

In the Virgin Islands resides an alleged secret hideaway for the child trafficking ring nicknamed “PedoIsland”, where billionaire child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and the Clintons have reportedly been known to take trips back and forth together to this spot with Hollywood celebrities.

According to the public record, Laura Silsby was smuggling kids out of Haiti from the very orphanage that was run by Comet Ping Pong pizza shop owner James Alifantis’ lawyer Max Maccoby and his father Micheal Maccoby. Remember, Pizza Gate? It doesn’t seem like “FAKE NEWS” any longer, does it?

Bill Clinton’s firm, Arkansas Development Finance Authority, has allegedly laundered drug money for years. $10 million dollars worth of cocaine a week was flying into Mena Airport in Arkansas during the nineties. The money was alleged to have been laundered via ADFA to a bank in Florida, to a bank in Georgia, to Citicorp (Rockefeller) in New York, and from there it was transferred out of the country.

Clinton’s best friend, Dan Lasater, led the operations. Lasater and Bill Clinton’s brother, Roger Clinton, later spent time in jail due to drug related crimes. The Chief of Police in Arkansas at that time, Doc Delaughter, said he had more than enough information from many persons in Lasater’s surroundings, on how they smuggled drugs and abused young girls sexually.

Just recently the late Seth Rich’s parents hired a private detective and already on Fox 5 news, it was broke that the Police Officer Robinson who was at the scene of Rich’s murder last July went in fact to Georgetown University where John Podesta taught and, Robinson’s sister worked for Hillary Clinton.

Seth Rich was the guy who leaked the “PedoGate” emails. Trump fired Comey because he was compromised (evidence that Comey was also one of Jeffrey Epstein’s occasional playmates). Since the election, there have been over 4,000 pedophile arrests in the USA, during 2014 (Obama) had only 400 for the entire year.

This is why many fans around the world believe Chris Cornell may have been ambushed in his hotel room after the concert where the assassins murdered him and the death scene was staged to look just “Like Suicide”.

Love’s like suicide
Dazed out in a garden bed
With a broken neck lays my broken gift
Just like suicide (“Like Suicide” lyrics)

VINCE FOSTER, MENA, AND COCAINE

According to his wife, security operative Jerry Parks delivered large sums of money from Mena airport to Vince Foster at a K-Mart parking lot. Mrs. Parks discovered this when she opens her car trunk one day and finds so much cash that she has to sit on the trunk to close it again. She asks her husband whether he is dealing drugs, and he allegedly explains that Foster paid him $1,000 for each trip he took to Mena. Parks said he didn’t “know what they were doing, and he didn’t care to know. He told me to forget what I’d seen.”. Later Evans-Pritchard will write, “Foster was using him as a kind of operative to collect sensitive information on things and do sensitive jobs. Some of this appears to have been done on behalf of Hillary Clinton. Foster told him that Hillary wanted it done.

Foster was later found dead from an apparent suicide.

Next Hillary Clinton quietly lobbies on behalf of the Contras and against groups and individuals opposing them. Bill Clinton’s close associate Dan Lasater’s parties become known around Little Rock for the availability of cocaine and women.

In 2008, Hillary Clinton’s private eye, Anthony Pellicano is sentenced to 15 years in prison after being convicted, reported the Washington Post, “of conspiring to run a criminal enterprise that employed illegal wiretaps to dig up dirt on the rich and famous on behalf of his elite Hollywood clients.”

Judy Gibbs, a model and call girl who appeared in Penthouse magazine, ran a powerful house of prostitution in Fordyce with her sister Sharon. They also blackmailed some of their more powerful clients. Both her family and one of Clinton’s bodyguards later linked Judy Gibbs to (at the time) Governor Clinton. She decided to cooperate with police in an investigation of Arkansas cocaine trafficking but was burned to death inside her home due to a suspicious arson case that was never solved.

ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS & THE DAY CHRIS TRIED TO LIVE

Going all the way back to his start on earth, Cornell’s father came from a Catholic background, and his mother was Jewish. Technically that would make him Jewish, but he did not practice that religion. The Soundgarden frontman went to a Catholic school when he was growing up, and it didn’t go so well. His mother removed him before he would be kicked out.

“It wasn’t for any specific reason other than we asked a lot of questions. . . . Not only did they not have the answers, but it was sort of considered to be rude [to ask]. . . . If somebody tells you this is this and that’s the way things are and shut up, you’re a kid.”

In his final years, he did not follow any particular religion but instead remained vague. He said he believes there are “a lot of really cool ideas,” but described himself as a “free thinker” and “open.”

“So many bad things–as well as good things–have happened based on people blindly following religion, that I kind of feel like I want to stay away from any type of specific denomination or any religion period, for no other reason than just that.”

Did Chris really want to die by his own hand? Or did he simply ask too many questions about PedoGate?

The late vocalist was fully anticipating SOUNDGARDEN’s next concert stop after Detroit … and shared his feelings with the crowd during his last rock show.

The frontman had a spirited moment with the audience. “I love you guys up there on the top shelf, but you got to f–king stand up and show me something,” the singer joked to the seated crowd in the upper seats. “I have bragged about Detroit crowds for 30 years, so stand the f–k up and make some noise.” View the video HERE.

Later on, Chris and the band were about to start an encore that final gig, then he went on about how amazing Detroit fans had been, saying, “I feel a little bit sorry for the next f***ing place we play.” They were set to play Friday in Columbus, Ohio and Chris joked he’ll have to tell fans there, “You should have been at that Detroit show. That crowd was something.”

So this clearly shows Chris was in a pretty good mood, and already thinking beyond Wednesday night. Chris’ wife, Vicky, stated for the record he showed absolutely no signs of depression or being suicidal in the hours before he was found dead.

The final hours of his life are what is being heavily disputed between a family that doesn’t believe he would have intentionally taken his own life and the Wayne County Medical Examiner’s Office, which declared his death a suicide by hanging.

It’s important to note that among his many charities, he supported ChildHaven, which helps children and toddlers heal from abuse and neglect. Based in Seattle, Childhaven was established in 1909 by the Reverend Mark Matthews as the Seattle Day Nursery, one of the first 50 childcare centers in the United States.

The center treats over 400 infants and preschool children each year who are referred by CPS (Child Protective Services). Its therapeutic care is provided daily to abused, neglected and at-risk children between the ages of one month through five years.

ChildHaven provides nurturing experiences that aid in development. The center also features specializes care for infants and preschoolers to overcome residual effects of parents prior substance abuse either in-utero or environmentally. Its crisis nursery provides free, voluntary services to parents in crisis.

THE END OF THE LINE FOR OUR HERO

About an hour before he was found deceased, Cornell had walked off stage with his bandmates about 11:15 p.m. to the raucous cheers of a sellout crowd of more than 5,200 fans.

Within 15 minutes, Cornell was back in Room 1136 at the MGM, where bodyguard Martin Kirsten assisted in helping fix the rock star’s computer and gave him two doses of an anti-anxiety medicine, according to the official police report.

Still on a rush of adrenaline pumping through is veins from performing at a rock show not even twenty minutes ago, Chris was full of life still.

At around 11:35 p.m., Cornell got on the phone with his wife. We next know Vicky called Kirsten the bodyguard at 12:15 a.m., and asked him to check on her husband. The bodyguard went to the room and found the door locked, the report said. Kirsten kicked the door open, only to find a second door leading to the bedroom suite also was latched — so, the report said, he kicked that door open, too, and found Cornell dead. As of this point, no suicide note has been found. Chris was still wearing all of his clothing. This eliminates the self-pleasuring gone wrong scenario.

Speaking in a statement released on Friday, Vicky said that she is determined to get to the bottom of her husband’s death, explaining: “What happened is inexplicable, and I am hopeful that further medical reports will provide additional details.”

“I know that he loved our children, and he would not hurt them
by intentionally taking his own life.”

Following his sold-out show in Detroit, Chris – reportedly appeared “happy and normal” as he met with fans and posed for selfies. Chris’ family are working closely with the medical examiner to determine the exact cause of his death.

A private funeral for Chris was held on Friday, May 26 in Los Angeles.

His body was flown from Michigan to Los Angeles, and Chris was laid to rest at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, the sources said. The sources also told CNN, “The family is thinking about a (public) memorial for fans, but is coping now with their loss and the funeral service.”





Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.





The Godfathers of Guitar

18 02 2011

There’s a progression in music, much like the generations that pass as we raise our children, pass on our values and go forward into the world, having influence on so much.  We might feel insignificant while we are bogged down in the drudgery and seemingly mundane detail of every effort it takes to produce what it is we are striving for.

But it’s all worth it!  It pays off, maybe not in the peak of our lives as we would like, but if we persist, endure and do it right our lives and what we create become a crescendo that builds a foundation for those who come after us.  What we do is not lost on the demands of daily life as long as we keep our eyes on the distant goal.

Before I get too far off course, I’ll reel my thoughts back in and start talking about a man named Robert Johnson. Robert Johnson was born in 1911 and only lived to the age of twenty seven, but what he did for music is something that cannot be measured.

This brings me to another point of irony; the great music artists who made a huge splash and shook up the status quo of music in their day, dying at the age of twenty seven.  Robert Johnson, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain.  There I go again getting ahead of myself.  It’s all in my head, but I need to lay it out in some order for it to make any sense.

Everyone has heard the story of the guy who sold his soul at the crossroads for talent, fame and glory.  Charlie Daniels brought it to us and told the story well in his classic song, The Devil Went Down To Georgia.  Did you ever wonder where the story of Johnny and the Devil came from?  It wasn’t Johnny and it wasn’t a fiddle.  It was Robert Johnson with a guitar.

Robert Johnson was a good blues guitar player but he wanted more, he wanted to be the best.  He studied with one of the greats of the time, Son House and used to try to emulate his idol but was unable to play as well.  When Johnson was nineteen he disappeared from Robinsonville, Mississippi for several months and when he came back he had a new guitar technique that nobody had ever played before.

This is where the story gets told, that Robert Johnson, for his passion of wanting to play the guitar so well, took his guitar to a crossroad near the Dockery Plantation at midnight where a large black man appeared to him.  The man took the guitar from Johnson, tuned it, played a couple of songs, and gave the guitar back to him along with total mastery of the instrument.  He was given the gift he sought but in return for this gift Johnson exchanged his soul.

This story makes for great PR but there’s another story that is probably what really happened.  Another player of the time named Ike Zinnerman spent a lot of time with Robert Johnson playing in the local cemetery at midnight, reportedly because it was quiet and nobody was around to disturb them.  This is where Johnson honed his mastery of the instrument, and the cemetery isn’t a bad place to come up with a story about selling one’s soul to the devil in exchange for fame and glory.

With the fame and glory came a tragic end.  Robert Johnson had been playing a certain gig for a few weeks and was flirting with the juke joint owner’s wife.  The man offered Johnson an open bottle of whiskey (he had previously been warned to never accept an open bottle but replied to the man who told him that to never knock a bottle from his hand) and he drank from it.  Reports tell us that the bottle was laced with strychnine and over the next few days Robert Johnson fell ill and eventually died.

Robert Johnson did leave us with an incredible catalog of recorded music that artists of the future would learn from and grow with to produce greater and more influential musical creation for us to partake of.  One in particular, and the one who most all musicians would agree is the standard for rock and roll and blues guitar is James Marshall Hendrix aka Jimi Hendrix.

Jimi Hendrix was born Johnny Allen Hendrix, November 27, 1942.  When Jimi’s dad came back from Europe after World War II he changed Jimi’s name to James Marshall, after his late brother, Leon Marshall.  I’m not sure where the James came from but I like it because we get Jimi spelled in that unique way.  Maybe it was just time to break from the chaos of the past and make things new.  Jimi always had a bright outlook on things and I think Al, his dad, was instrumental in teaching him correct principles.

On a side note, I had the honor of shaking hands with Al Hendrix in the fall of 1991 at a club in Seattle called the Rockandy.  It was a type of gig the Seattle bands put together to follow a theme of the godfathers of rock and roll and this night was Jimi Hendrix theme night.  Twelve Seattle bands came together to perform two Hendrix tunes of their choice and of their interpretation.  No, we didn’t have Nirvana or Soundgarden or Alice in Chains or Screaming Trees or Pearl Jam or Mudhoney or any of the huge list of big-shot Seattle bands you might wish were a part of this story; yeah, and I wish too!  How would that have been?  To meet Al Hendrix and watch Soundgarden knock out a couple Jimi covers for a six dollar entry?  But it wasn’t to be. Although we did get a dramatic performance from a band called The Sky Cries Mary, an obvious reference to Jimi’s song The Wind Cries Mary.  The Sky Cries Mary had some accolades and even made an appearance on the David Letterman show, but for some reason they didn’t receive the strong and wide spread recognition a lot of the projects coming out of Seattle did, which is a cryin’ shame because to be honest their expression through music was far more complex and layered than most everything else, especially at that time. They were never part of the ‘grunge’ scene, nor do I think they ever had any desire to be. They stood head and shoulders apart from the rest of the dank and dirty rock and roll genre that swept through Seattle at that time..

 
I sat with Roderick Romero, a member of The Sky Cries Mary, that night and we talked of musical expression, the layering of sound and the experiences obtained through the use of mind expanding particles introduced to the creative process. It is a conversation that has stayed with me through my life and throughout my creative endeavors. It was a great night, and I am grateful to have had that moment with him; he is an inspired and remarkable artistic visionary.

And there I go again, getting off track.  When it comes to music and the things I’ve seen, I can talk for hours and find myself down the goofiest tangents.

Jimi’s mom died when he was nine, from complications due to her alcohol abuse, and he moved up to Vancouver, BC for a while.  This is where he acquired his first acoustic guitar, from a pawn shop for five dollars.  His dad got it for him because Jimi had been air guitaring on an old broom stick and playing a broken ukulele his dad found while cleaning the garage.

Eventually Al rounded up enough dough to get Jimi his first electric guitar.  In 1958 he got a white Supro Ozark 1560 S, single pickup from Myer’s Music in Seattle, Washington.  He didn’t have an amplifier but Jimi did what he could with what he had and that’s why Jimi Hendrix is the legend he is today; because he felt it and what he felt, he was able to let out his arms and through his fingers, through his guitars and into our ears for the expansion of minds around the musical world.

Jimi took what the godfathers before him did, like Robert Johnson, Son House and Ike Zinnerman and added a new flavor to the mix.  It’s an evolution, and as society in Jimi’s day evolved in technology and industry, so did music in intellectuality.  Thank God Jimi Hendrix was there with his electric guitar to express this new knowledge given us from The Field in the form of music as the floodgates opened and the new energy rolled forward.  The minds who were paying attention and who would not immediately dismiss this new horizon as rebellion and sedition from normalcy opened to the influence of this musical microcosm that had previously existed only in science fiction and in the fantasies of artists.

He had the audacity to play The Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock, and regardless of what most white collar conservatives, flashing down the street, pointing their plastic fingers at Jimi believe, he did it as a tribute to this great nation, not as a desecration of something sacred as our national anthem.  Just because the squares of the day didn’t get it doesn’t mean his art form was nothing short of God’s grace shedding brilliant talent down on a generation of artists to shake up the status quo.  That’s not to say his lifestyle was anything to emulate; maybe something to be learned from, but the authorities of the day tried to dismiss what he was doing as a mockery when it was merely a new form of expression.  And to dismiss the art because of the artist is a shame.  If we were to do that then we might just as well throw out Mozart, Hemmingway and Van Gogh.

Jimi did live fast and died hard.  On September 18, 1970 at the age of twenty seven, Jimi Hendrix died.  It was that night that he had attended a party in London and was picked up by his then girlfriend, Monika Dannemann and driven to her place at the Samarkand Hotel at Notting Hill.  It was no secret that Jimi had an affection for amphetamines and this night he downed nine Vesperax, a German brand sleeping pill whose dosage was one half of a pill.  A few hours after midnight Jimi began to vomit from the overdose but was unconscious from the high dosage and asphyxiated on the red wine that was in his stomach.  Eeeew!

That’s a tragic end to a lifestyle lived.  God bless Jimi Hendrix and may he be forgiven for any trespasses upon the Natural Law.  He was a man of vision and an artist that many followed after.

And after Jimi came many, and there were other masters who deserve mention as Jimi’s peers.  Eric Clapton, Carlos Santana, George Harrison, Jimmy Page and in the years beyond the great sixties and early seventies we had mega freaks like Eddie Van Halen, Randy Rhodes, the Schenker brothers and Stevie Ray Vaughan and even some disgustingly, technically perfect, so perfect it’s not even enjoyable listening, like Joe Satriani and Steve Vai.  But then, thank the heavens; we were blessed in the late eighties with a new son of pure guitar art form who played only because it’s the only thing he could do.  Not for the glory, not for the fame, not for the money; he played from the heart and he gave it everything.

On June 25, 1988 Hillel Slovak, guitarist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers succumbed to the horrors of heroin addiction and left a gaping hole in the world of music.  One of their fans, John Anthony Frusciante had been playing guitar since age nine when he became infatuated with The Germs and learned to play along with their record, GI.  Shortly after that, one of his instructors turned him on to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and John proceeded to emulate Hillel Slovak’s guitar style.  John went on to master the blues scales at then discovered Frank Zappa.  At the age of sixteen, with the permission of his parents, he dropped out of high school after taking a proficiency test and enrolled at the Guitar Institute of Technology.  At one point Frusciante was set on trying out for Frank Zappa’s band but heard that Frank wasn’t too keen on chemical refreshment so John decided, as he knew he was going to indulge in the hedonism of rock stardom, not to even give it a shot.

Frusciante had become friends of the Chili Peppers as their shows were more intimate in the early days when the fans would go gangbusters slam dancing (before it was called moshing) and rarely experience the show visually.  There was a band in LA at the time called Thelonious Monster who was auditioning guitar players.  Anthony Keidis was friends with Bob Forrester of Thelonious Monster and arranged an audition for John.  After seeing the audition, Anthony offered Frusciante a position in the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

John Frusciante was eighteen years old and they called him Greenie.  He fell in quick with the band and followed in Hillel’s footsteps without missing a beat.  It was almost as though he had channeled Hillel’s spirit he played the Chili Peppers’ material so well.  As Slovak was greatly influenced by Jimi Hendrix, so was John Frusciante, and like Hillel, John approached the guitar from a minimalist angle, which likely came from his punk and new wave roots.  And I say God bless you John for not being another over playing virtuoso and laying it down cleanly and simply and beautifully as you have for the years.

The music that John has created with The Red Hot Chili Peppers has given me insight into things that I knew were going on within my own life, but I was unable to touch upon them in any coherent manner.  But when I listened to Californication in February of 2000 while driving from Vancouver, Washington to Salt Lake City to look for a new career, and move my family back home as the wife requested, I heard Anthony telling me about parallel universes and that was something of a catalyst to my thinking toward my belief that this band has in fact, paralleled my entire life with their songs, the stories they tell within the songs and all the drama and in fighting, with Dave Navarro coming into the band during that time I was adopting my two daughters, Tayslie and Ali and I did  not treat them right.  I didn’t have the tools or the skills to be a tender and nurturing parent.  But as time has passed I have grown in knowledge and wisdom and I pray that those beautiful young women forgive me some day of the faults of a young man who was trying his best to do what he was told by those around him and echoing the environment in which he was raised.

And here we are today, loving Stadium Arcadium, again following the patterns of my life.  Every song on that recording speaks profoundly to me at some level of my life at the time it was recorded, from my relationships with younger women and She’s Only 18 (and it actually tells the story of my relationships with Jayne Pederson exactly as it happened, and with another girl named Raquel; it just blows me away how precise the words are to us) to Warlocks when I spent my time in Portland with the hedge witch, Tami to the soul touching song Hey, the last track on the first disc, Mars of the Stadium Arcadium masterpiece; that song, Hey tells the story of the communication between me and my ex wife to the T.  And the song, Charlie is totally Marlene, my angel and my healer. And not to mention their unreleased b-sides recordings that speak directly to me with profound exactness every time I stumble upon them.

I could go on and write volumes.  This means nothing to many and it’s just silliness to some, but for me it’s profound and this is my life.  All things happen for a reason.  There is no such thing as coincidence.  All things have purpose, if you have faith enough to believe on things greater than yourself.

So, from Robert Johnson to Jimi Hendrix and on down through the cacophony of glammed up rock star virtuoso guitar players we are blessed with the tenderness of John Frusciante who expresses the truth right through his instrument and into my ears to resonate with me and validate my existence.

I love you John.  Thank you for everything you’ve been through, everything you’ve given us and everything that is to come.  John Frusciante is a master beyond recognition.





Photography and Art of Vaughn Hocksworth Brown

24 01 2011

This is an image I created using a photograph of my friend Cydney‘s eye.  She has the most alluring and beautiful blue eyes.  They are as captivating as she is.  I overlayed an image of a drawing I did back in college.  I call this image The Eyes Have It.  A dumb title but fitting.

I shot this at Yellowstone back in the summer of 2006.  My friend Lance and I saw The Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Delta Center and drove all night to Yellowstone right after the show for a week of getaway and soul finding with nature.  What an experience that was.  Yellowstone captured my heart that week and I captured this picture.

My bro, Kajol.  His name is Aaron but we all call him Kajol, and he has a son he named Kajol for real.  He sings for a band called Alias Code and used to sing for Separation of Self before the breakup.  We did this photo shoot at the Bonneville Salt Flats, one of my favorite spots on the planet.  Kajol cut his dreads after 14 years.  He’s now a handsome respectable looking fellow who is having a slight identity crisis with the new, clean cut image.

I took this picture downtown Portland, Oregon in a parking garage.  The orange wall was a brilliant color with the black sign and stark white lettering.  Nothing special about the photo itself but I love the  lines and  color.

My friend, Leah.  She was dancing at a barn party when I snapped this pic.  She wasn’t posing, it just came out so nicely.   A nice seductive and accidental pose, I love it.  She’s a beautiful and statuesque woman, complex and wonderful.  I’d love to do a photo shoot with her.  Maybe I should ask!

A shot I took at the Art Walk in northeast Portland in the spring of 2010.  Brass Armonica was performing their musical and visual style of expression.  It was something I can dig but not something I could get into myself without large doses of mind altering chemicals.  They made for great photography subjects though!

This is the road that leads to the Bonneville Salt Flats.  It seems there is always a storm brewing in the distance while this long and lonesome road leads to the beautiful purity of the snow white plains that are the salt flats.  It is a spectacular thing to behold.

This is a silly picture but I like the colors and lighting.  Back in 2007 I was invited to the wedding of a sorority sister of my then girlfriend.  She was given the task of choosing the shoes for the bridesmaids.  I took this picture to show all the bridesmaids the subtle differences between the two pairs of shoes.  That woman taught me an appreciation for womenfolk’s shoes.





Eavesdroppings

6 01 2011

I got on the train this morning and the first thing I heard was a woman talking to a blind man.  She was saying something like, “I don’t put on a dress and ask him, does this make me look fat, I ask him, how does this look, and if he says it looks too tight I say OK”.

Why do women do that to us?  Our bodies get out of shape.  We can’t all stay at that 15 year old physique all our lives and when that perfect slimness and optimal body fat content thing starts to go haywire on us we leave it to others to validate our unsightliness by putting them on the spot with unavoidable questions like, “how does this dress look?”

I don’t talk about anything but the dress.  She asks me, “how does this dress look?”, I talk about the colors I see or the cut of it, I’m not getting involved in any of the “I can see your fat rolls”, or “your kankles are showing”, discussion.  Leave that to the suicide squad.

Now that that’s off my chest…

I went to Karaoke last night.  Not something I recommend if you’re looking to broaden your cultural horizons or if you have any appreciation for real art and music.  But if you like to sit back and feel like a complete snob watching mediocrity fail, it’s a real good time.  I’ve done Karaoke, but when I do Karaoke I go balls out.  I’m not going to get up there and sing Alan Parson’s Project, get the arms waving back and for the Eye in the Sky.  It’s a good song for its time; some say a classic, but for Karaoke?  Who wants to go to all the trouble of getting out of the comfort of their personal surroundings and go watch some dude whose artistic inspiration starts and stops on commercial television?  And that’s about the time I start telling myself, “I’m such an ass.”

Karaokeists are just trying to have a good time, they’re playing around, their friends are laughing, it’s all part of camaraderie and good clean fun; it’s like playing house or having a tea party when you’re four years old.  When you see life through the lens I see life through it’s not that simple.

I see over in the corner of my eye this dude, obviously a dude, and my gaydar is pretty good because last year when the census takers knocked on my door I was given a voucher for a gaydar upgrade and I just had it installed last week, so it’s a guy.  And I don’t even know if this qualifies to be in the gaydar range of discussion, if I’m treading on some homophobia sacred ground of discussion or if I’m just being an ass again, but I’m saying to myself, that dude looks like a lesbian.  You know, he’s got the butch haircut, baby face, he’s kind of chubby, little bit of the man boob thing going on with a puca shell necklace, having a little too much fun sweatin’ to the oldies.  And he’s wearing the same clothes those chicks who are trying to look like dudes wear.  So I mention it to a friend of mine just to check and see if I’m really a total and complete ass or if it’s actually kind of funny, and she starts laughing.  I say yeah I feel bad for saying it out loud, or even thinking it, but look at the guy.  She validates me by saying yeah, you’re right, that’s pretty funny.

Then he starts slow dancing.  It’s not bad enough that it was Karaoke but they took a break and started playing slow songs to give us a little chance at romance, and Charlie Crooner gets on the mic.  It was like American Idol reject clips, but I’m trying to be good about the whole thing.  These people are having fun, no babies are being punched and no new diseases are being designed by our activities, it’s just good, clean, wholesome fun, right?

So This guy is slow dancing with some girl, she’s cute, no big deal, but the whole time I’m seeing this out of the corner of my eye I’m just laughing inside and I lean to my friend and said, “those two chicks are dancing with each other.”  Now, that’s not even funny, it’s nothing to laugh about, two chicks dancing together, no big deal.  But I’m sitting there feeling like such a pompous ass being so condescending to this bull crap music, trying to make it an uplifting and enjoyable time, finding joy in people lip syncing to the worst of the worst of the top forty from 25 years ago, as though they’re doing us a favor dragging us down memory lane with them.

I hated this crap then and you’re not making it any better for me.  It’s like putting miracle whip on a bologna sandwich.  It’s still bologna and it’s still miracle whip, sugar infused mayonnaise.  It’s like the nutrition of junk food for the soul.  And all I can do to keep myself entertained is think how much this poor, innocent, young man looks like he’s trying to fool us into thinking he’s a dude, when really already is.  And the tragedy that he looks like that is something I’m starting to feel guilt for, but then at the same time it’s the only thing keeping me lightly entertained, enough to be able to scrape a little joy off the bottom of this bucket of preservative packed soul junk food, then I look down and in front of me is a bowl of cheese puffs.

It was like a sign from the gods telling me this is where I’m supposed to be.  It’s cheesy and it’s full of fluff with no real substance but if you munch on them long enough you can learn to enjoy.  Somewhere safe, not going to find any trouble, certainly not going to stir up any shenanigans, and I begin to realize that I really like to rock the boat and if it’s not rocking I’m not comfortable.

Then I see lezbo boy again in the corner of my eye and it just hits me and I double over in a fit of laughter and I start clapping and giggling like a giddy little school girl at the silliness of it all and the whole time it’s so loud and there’s so much going on that nobody knows what I’m carrying on about and they all think I’m just joining in and having a good time with everyone crooning to the sounds of rock and roll pabulum.

Then somebody puts on ‘Give it Away’ by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  And I’m thinking OK, this is a song I can get behind, but he’s reading the lyrics, there’s no soul, no groove, no funk, and certainly to busting out of anything Chili Pepper style and my friends know this about me, that I’m a huge Chili Peppers fan so they’re like, go on out there man this is your song.  But what am I gonna do, go out there and do an Anthony Keidis impression with this guy who started the song?  That’s not cool, to go out there and show him up.  And then I’m back to thinking again, man I’m and ass for thinking that if went out there it would be showing him up, like what I could do would be some ‘in your face’ to his effort at entertaining us.  It’s not a basketball tournament.  So I just sat back and watched it unfold.

Karaoke is a weird thing, it makes me feel squirmy.  I’m such a critic and such a snob when it comes to any sort of art form.  I like to express myself but there are so many people who do it in such better ways than I could with the mediums available, but so often if I had the skill that they had I would do it in such a different way.  And that’s why I wish I could express my emotions through a medium I had complete mastery over.  So it’s time to start practicing again, because it’s time to express things in the right way.

I think it’s important that we all create something of beauty, that we work hard to express what we find colorful and lovely and beautiful around us, to reproduce what we feel; what evokes emotion within us, in one form or another for others to respond to, to bring them life and inspiration and to bring to life that inner spirit that creates and loves what is intangible and beautiful about art and the greatness that surrounds us, that which we all want to be a part of, where we can find common ground and build together.





The Beatles are on iTunes!

10 12 2010

The  Beatles seem to make a come back every so often, and iTunes is this generation’s Beatles comeback.  So I decided to reprise the Beatles and rediscover them for the umpteenth time for this blog post.  The Beatles made an impact on my life when I was a child.  I don’t remember all the details but I do remember the way-out disconnectedness and psychedelia that sent my mind to unfamiliar places and even gave me nightmares with the experimental, boundary breaking A Day In The  Life.  That  song freaked me out and I loved it!

Strawberry fields, nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about.  That’s what the Beatles are telling me right now.  They say it’s hard to be someone when you misunderstand what you see.  And in the Blue Jay Way they say, ‘Please don’t be long, please don’t you be very long.  Or I may be asleep’ over and over again but what I heard them saying to me as the song builds is ‘Please don’t belong’.  The Timothy Leary message comes through loud and clear.  LSD is a powerful drug and when used in making music the trip can certainly be sent through to the listener, especially when the listener is tripping too.  Those boys were tricky, but I don’t think they quite meant to do everything they did, they were just messing around.

When you set out to send a message to the masses you have to know that you’re actually going to get to some of them, and some minds will be blown.  And when you blow minds, you’re no longer just another person; you’re an icon for breaking some new ground.  The Beatles surely blew minds, and people followed them like lemmings, putting meaning to the artists’ lyrics and music wherever they would fit conveniently into their lives to provide a sense of belonging to the movement.  Charlie Manson and company unfortunately used Helter Skelter and Piggies as marching orders for their madness.  Would Charlie’s death guild have come to pass if the Beatles had not recorded those tracks?  It’s a question to be asked, but impossible to answer correctly.

The Beatles were victims themselves to the LSD trap, and that screwed them.  Sure it opened windows to new ideas and broke them free from the sappy love songs that brought them pop stardom and helped propel them to greater heights, but just like every burnout hippie, they found out that LSD takes you down mysterious and tricky paths that all lead to dead ends.  No mortal is powerful enough to tame that beast, but while they were there, they wired it for sound with the technology of the time and gave us The Magical Mystery Tour.

The introspection of the trips and the way they turned their insights back on one another changed the pop hit makers into studio trippers experimenting with sound pushing the evolution of music to new extremes.  By the time they recorded Abbey Road and Let it Be, they were done, grizzled old men ready to walk away from it all, but at that same time they were perfectly ripe with brilliance and genius dripping from their finger tips and with the new sound it was just too much and too good to be able  to carry on.

If only they could have come together and kept it together for a few more albums with the new studio and let John be John and Yoko and let the Beatles evolve we would have surely had some majestically mature Beatles recordings with the wisdom of experience, but all of that energy was too much to handle and it pulled them apart.  And when it came apart we got Paul McCartney, the solo artist.  If only John Lennon were still around to keep him in check.  John’s tormented soul was rock and roll; Paul was just a song writer who smoked pot.  Wings was OK and rocked a little bit but that was in the 70s so he got away with it.  Much of music in the 70s sucked, especially in the early 70s.  And Paul was there, sucking at the forefront.

It would be nice if the kids today could understand, if it were possible, what the Beatles did for music, to kick rock and roll up a notch or two and completely tweak all possibilities.  Listen to ‘Rock and Roll Music’ then ‘I’ll Follow the Sun’ followed up with ‘Mr. Moonlight’.  Sure, they took the lead from artists like Chuck Berry and Little Richard, but they brought their own irreverent rock and roll attitudes to us and even did their own weird brand of children’s music at times.  And they took it to the studio and, for the first time, recorded more than four tracks, they threw in recordings from home, playing them backwards and inside-out, creating layers that had never been thought of before, they even used synthesizers, and that broke open a new psychedelic music explosion that flipped the early 70s on its head and completely changed the direction music would take.  Everything was on tape in those days; digital was not a word at that time.  Check out ‘Revolution 9’.  They actually had to work to get it right.  And they did things like the intro to ‘Honey Pie’.

The Beatles were pop music and happy good times but that turned dark and twisted, they were tripped out, sometimes they wrote for children like with Yellow Submarine but then that  listening child was sent on a trip to new discoveries with ‘Hey Bulldog’ and ‘It’s All Too Much’ and then were brought back to that happy, safe place with ‘All You Need Is Love’ and ‘Pepperland’.  They connected to everyone on some level because they worked to create music as art and not just to write love songs and make hits.  They showed us that we can do whatever we want to do when it comes to creating music, because it’s what we feel.  Just listen to ‘Dig a Pony’, ‘I Me Mine’ or ‘For You Blue’.  If we can express it through our instruments and then lay it down in some sort of order, track after track with our technology, we must thank the Beatles for what they did before we came around.

(image altered and used without permission)








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