Stay High

14 02 2016

mc5I wrote “stay high” in one of my stoner girlfriends’ yearbooks in my Jr. year of high school. And she left her yearbook behind in class one day and the teacher opened it and started reading the comments.  So dude called my parents and said we needed to do a drug intervention with me, just because I told her to stay high.

I didn’t do drugs like those chicks.  They were way more mature and older than me.  I started school a year earlier than I should have so I was always with older kids in the same class and I witnessed things earlier than I should have.

They would come to school on Monday, after the weekend talking about taking LSD and Cocaine and having sex with their older boyfriends.  I just listened and let it roll off my back because I knew I was way too young for that business.  But they liked me a lot so they would travail me with these stories of slutty-hood and debauchery.

So I knew they liked to party and they were my friends in school so I wrote, “stay high” in her yearbook and the adults all freaked out on me.  And her too, but she laughed it off because her parents allowed her these luxuries.

But not mine, and not that I would have wanted to do that stuff at such a young age, I wouldn’t have.  They would tell me that I needed to take LSD with them and then they would “take advantage” of me in the bedroom.

Sounds about what every high school boy dreams of, it actually happened to me but I just put it out of my mind because I knew I was going on a mission for Jesus Christ when I was 19 and I had to remain pure as I could.  But I smoked a lot of weed, and drank alcohol and made out with a lot of chicks…I just never went all the way like those crazy chicas wanted me too.

And after the discovery of “stay high” in the yearbook, I was grounded for two months by my parents.  Man, that sucked.  I got grounded a lot, and for long times too because I did some stuff I should not have done, but it was never as severe as my parents imagined, and during lecture time I never said anything, just listened to them tell me what kind of trouble I was getting into for coming home smelling like smoke.

Man, I must have driven my parents nuts in my latter high school years.  They have no idea I was merely the celibate stoner.  I just liked my brain escape from the harshness of home, but I wasn’t out womanizing or anything like my other buddies were.

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

23 12 2015

ringsAt this Christmas Season I have to give thanks for the greatest things in my life.

It may seem odd because of the things she says about me, but first of all I am grateful for my mom. She taught me some great principles early in life that helped me build a strong foundation up on which I’ve built my life, and my self, and most importantly my testimony in Christ; which is my rock and the essence of my foundation, which gives me strength to stand and move forward with a smile and humor and love

I may seem somewhat rebellious, I’m not really, I just do not conform to societal norms, and that makes me seem rebellious, to society, and to what is generally deemed ‘normal’.

chainsAnd in reality, those are the things that my mother taught me, to stand up for what I believe in and love what it is feels right in my heart despite the pressures of peer persuasion.

So in teaching me that, which was what she did, and it was the right thing, she did not understand that she was teaching me to rise above the expectations of others, and carve my own groove, even if it did not resonate harmoniously with the vibrations of those around me.

Because my vibe is one of peace, that I love, and it’s ironic that everyone who I spend time with loves the time we’ve spent together, yet my family finds my life somehow unacceptable.I know ma ABCs!

But that’s the funny thing about life. We learn to love things in our personal ways that only we understand by having to endure the uncomfortableness and displeasure required to know the joys of life.

And that is why older people are calm and wise and happy and patient and find joy in small and simple things, such as the noise children make or the chirping of birds early in the morning, that used to annoy us as young people.

IMG_1679.CR2I am thankful for my dad. We don’t speak anymore because we are two completely different people. But he showed me by example all my life to be just like him, but taught my through principles and lessons of love to become my own person and achieve those things I love by not being concerned with what other people think of me.

Which is ironic too, because he was always concerned about what I did, because of the way it would reflect on him, but he made me into the unique and somewhat rebellious, flowery, charismatic and creative, artistic person I became whether he knows it or not. In our times of private discussion, that I used to hate because they were arduous and almost abusive lectures, he taught me grit, integrity, strength and tenacity that I couldn’t have gotten on the football field or basketball court or anywhere else in life.

He made me the compassionate badass that I am today, and I am grateful because he gave me the strength to endure the almost unendurable pains of life after divorce, losing everything I ever wanted, to find myself again and have meaning and purpose in life every new day, to wake up, even if I’m alone with a smile, and laugh and make every day worth while.

_DSC0079.NEFAnd I love my sister, Shannon, who I miss so much. We had so much fun growing up. She has a wonderful husband and wonderful kids, I’m so proud of her I can’t even put it into words.

And my friends. You know who you are, no need to give names or a list. We will be together in spirit or in body or on the other side. Get some and Go Again!

maxfeetAnd of course my children. I may not be with them, but I am with them because I made them and I am a part of them, I am in their hearts whether they think of me or not, and they are in mine and we exist because of one another and they give me joy and strength in this life to endure until the next life where there will be no sadness or memories of loss. All joy and love. So that is why I just love them so much, because they honor me by being just like me even though they don’t even realize they are.

They are kooky, hilarious, musical, creative, artistic, brilliant, intelligent, gorgeous, compassionate, unique, beacons of badassery and brightness, just like I taught them to me, each an individual, each of them together as one.

idahomountainsThank God for my life and for my Savior Jesus Christ who made this life possible and who make it possible for me to have the love for these wonderful people I love and that I will be able to love them for eternity.

Merry Christmas. Remember what this holiday season is. It’s not to get presents or eat food or have blinking lights on a tree. It’s to remember that we have a Savior who made it possible for us to have the joys we feel at this holiday season. Without Him, we would not know this happiness. Give thanks, and make the world a better place in 2016.





Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.





A Communist in the Whitehouse – I’m just getting started…more to come

9 01 2014

propagandaAt a glance many people will smirk and chuckle about the title of this post, but I’m not using hyperbole and trying to emphasize a point of view;  I’m stone cold serious. And I’ll demonstrate how I found this and why I believe it and why it’s important.

First off, this country is not a Democracy nor is it a Republic per se.

We live in a Constitutional Republic.

Why is it important to understand this from the beginning?  Because it is the very foundation upon which our nation was perceived, framed and constructed; and the antithesis of Barack Obama’s vision for our future.

What is a Constitutional Republic? First, let’s start by defining Democracy and Republic.

A democratic form of government is simply, majority rule.  Everyone who is eligible and can vote has a voice, and in the end the majority’s persuasion wins the day.

A republic form of government is one where the elected government officials represent the individual, but are beholden to the populus at large and therefore, their affairs are open to public view and scrutiny.

America is a Constitutional Republic.

We adhere to the tenets of our founding Constitution and its articles of declaration and our elected government officials, who are elected by a process that is democratic (and that’s why people believe America is a democracy, because we vote) are therefore bound to the principles within the Constitution and its amendments.  The Constitution is their playbook.  Everything they do, comes from within those documents.  At least that’s how it’s supposed to work.

In America, the Federal government has no power over the people.  They merely have the authority act within the boundaries created by the Constitution; nothing more and nothing less.

The individual united states however, have authority to pass laws and regulations based on their social needs created from the desires of the people living within their boundaries by a democratic process.

Elected officials within the states represent the people to the Federal government i.e. Congressmen and Senators.

So to make it very simplistic, the people in the states vote for individuals who have the same beliefs and principles and give them their trust as they then go to the Capital of the Nation to represent the voice of the individual.

Why are there Congress and Senate and what do each do?

I’m not going to go into all that much detail but the purpose of a Congressman is to hear the voice of the people by the state in which he was elected and take that voice to the Federal government to be heard.

The Senate is there to evaluate the deeds of Congress, and to ratify their bills and laws and decide if they are in line with constitutional principles.  If they are, the laws are passed, amendments chartered and so on and so forth.

The purpose of the President is to oversee the deeds of the Congress and Senate and to make sure that they are upholding the principles of the Constitution, from which their authority is granted.  And he is given the power to veto bills and laws if they are not in line with the Constitution.

He is an overseer.  The president is granted no legislative authority.  That is reserved for the purposes of the Congress and the Senate.

But all to often, once a man is given a little authority, he immediately exersizes unrighteous dominion, and that is why there is a Senate, to keep Congress in check, and a President to make sure all bills are in line with constitutional principles.

And then we have the Supreme Court, but we won’t go into that.  Enough is enough with our discussion of government 101.

However, many people believe that the office of the President is one of authority, and power over Congress, the Senate and the People.  This is completely opposite to the purpose of the creation of this experiment called America.  For the President to have authority over the legislative bodies and the people, would be to have a King or a Dictator.  As I said before, the President is merely an overseer and protector of our freedoms; nothing more, nothing less.

The office of the President is very simple, although its execution is complicated by politics.  And now we return to the temptation that a man given authority has the tendency toward the immediate exersize of unrighteous dominion.

Without being too detailed, I’ll lay out, based on my understanding, which has come by my formal education and relentless pursuit for the knowledge of our nation’s history and government (I’m not just repeating what I hear others say) so that as we proceed, we also understand together the same definition of political titles and terminologies, where authority is given and its boundaries.  Because too often conversations turn contentious simply because ideas are represented by words which are defined differently from one person to another; ergo the explanation of the authorities of the different branches of government in America.

And now that we have that foundation laid down, and a common understanding of things we can begin to discuss all this communist-in-the-whitehouse hoopla (see what I did there, with the foundation and that…).

One thing I’ll give to this president is his honoring the promise to fundamentally transform America.  Because that’s exactly why he ran for office.  Hope and change, to fundamentally transform America.

Here’s the actual quote given October 31, 2008

“After decades of broken politics in Washington, and eight years of failed policies from George W. Bush, and 21 months of a campaign that’s taken us from the rocky coast of Maine to the sunshine of California, we are five days away from fundamentally transforming the United States of America. In five days, you can turn the page on policies that put greed and irresponsibility on Wall Street before the hard work and sacrifice of folks on Main Street.”

And in this context its critical to remember that in another speech given February 19, 2008, which has been given the title “Just Words”, he quoted many former presidents and emphasised how important the words used in presidential speeches really are, and that they mean what they say.

He threw those words over our heads in his speech but when I heard him say that my hair caught fire.  And that’s one of the reasons I’ve been relentless over the past five or six years in pointing out his actions and trying to demonstrate in a way that people can understand, the direction in which they are steering our nation.

So what does a ‘fundamental transformation’ really mean and why would he say something like that in regards to his Hope and Change campaign?

It’s important now, that we understand where the campaign slogan “Hope and Change” originated.  What are the roots of these terms and why did he use the word Hope, and what does the word Change really mean to him?

Those words resonate with everyone on a level that brings comfort and enthusiasm for prosperity, and relief from our burdens.   But it’s important to understand what those terms mean to the person who used them in the first place.  Why did he say them to us and what is he really trying to say?  Because he knows that those are positive, uplifting terms to most, however his definition of them is far more sinister than many of us realize.   And its because of the origin of those terms coming from him, in context with his background, that they are so dangerous.

Let’s start with the term ‘change’ and what it really means coming from his roots.

Barack Obama was indoctrinated deeply with sympathy for the cause of Marxist, Leninist, Taoist, Trotskyite, AKA Communist principles, especially while he was at Columbia University and then in Chicago in the mid nineteen eighties where he was given accolades, attention, a taste of power and some vision he could believe in, in actually being an influential part of the infiltration and eventual overthrow of what he perceived as a corrupt and oppresive American regime.

When Obama got to Chicago, he began his work as a community organizer.  This is public knowledge and sounds like a credible and honorable position of leadership.  But understanding what a community organizer is and where its roots spring is critical in understanding Obama’s indoctrination into a full blown Marxist.

He began training in the mid nineteen eightees at the Midwest Academy, through a grant from the Woods Fund which he received through his associations with Thomas Ayers.

Thomas Ayers is the father of William Ayers and was then CEO of Commonwealth Edison, which is one of the largest gas and electric utility holding companies in the nation.

One of Bill Ayers’ most poignant comments was, after being charged with terrorist bombings and being acquitted on a technicality, “guilty as sin, free as a bird.”  Of course he was acquitted because of his powerful connections through his father.

The Midwest Academy was founded by sixties radicals who were members of the SDS, Students for a Democratic Society.  Remember the definition of Democracy?  Majority rule.  No foundation in principle or ethics and no constitution.  Simply a powerful arm to forcing the rule of the strong over the weak.

Now were going to take a little diversion to explore the origins of the SDS, just for a moment, so that we can better understand what type of motivation his trainers at the Midwest Academy had in forming him into a community organizer, then I’ll demonstrae what a community organizer really is.

The SDS was born of Marxist philosophy and founded upon its principles.  In short, the SDS is a new-age euphamism for modern day Marxist think-tankers.

NOTE: If you don’t understand Karl Marx and the fact that he was a megalomaniac bent on the destruction of liberty and freedom then you should go back to the drawing board, get a little brush up on the origins of Communist theory and start all over with this post.

Here’s how the SDS links directly to Karl Marx and the proof that Obama is a Communist.  But that’s not even the smoking gun in all of this, so stick with me because it will all come together.

Karl Marx was inspired by the philosopher George Hegel, who created dialectic theory and the art of argument.  Without going into the details of Hegelian Dialectics, I’ll define it briefly.  George Hegel isn’t the man who created the dialectic theory originally but he is the one to whom its philosophical body is commonly attributed.

Dialectics approaches all theories and theoroms based on the premise that all supporting axioms of thought are inherently flawed.  Therefore the proponents of dialectic theory naturally seek to find fault in everything around them and therefore are able to create a new problem which then needs to be overcome by thier implementation of a solution, thereby giving them the control; which was their original design, taking control.

Dialectic is more than just rhetoric or debate.  It is a mode of moving an idealogy or philosophy off of its foundation for the purposes of change and assimilation, to bring differing ideals into a more commonly accepted realm of thought.

This is how socialists, leftists, Marxists and facists think and approach everything.  At a glance it looks like a healthy way of exploring ideas, because we must be open to the possibility that there are flaws in ideas so that we can correct them and move forward to healing and truth.

However, those who have more diabolical ideals coursing through their thought processes use dialectic theory to poke holes in otherwise sound and solid modes of thought for the purposes of usurping power over more natural and morally based ideals which have stood for millenia.  That’s why it’s so easy to lead a group around by the nose once religion, or a principled foundation is removed from the equation.

There are no absolutes in dialectic thought.  Everything is up for discussion and everything is open to change; and a democratic power structure who rules over a dependent, lower class is always the force manipulating that change for their own needs and pleasures at any given time.

All that the power hungry structure needs for a populus to follow them is a large enough common crisis that affects everyone, and then they are able to propose a solution to what seems an unsolvable problem.

Please share this with everyone who is open to the truth.  It’s important that Americans are knowledgeable about these things.  This isn’t a game and it isn’t a safety net.  It’s literal tyranny, just what the Founding Fathers escaped.

(image used without permission)





An Idealist’s Dream

17 05 2011

I have so many thoughts, ideas and things that make sense to me but sometimes I have trouble executing them.

What if there were a group of people who could have access to my ideas and really take them seriously?

Then CulturTree happened.  Whoa!

New Subject:

People stand strong on their principles and move forward with vigor, passion, rancor…whatever fuel gives them the power to believe.  Too often people believe what they hear or they believe little more than how they interpret headlines without understanding details and truth.  Quips and bumper stickers, signs and chants do not teach or develop understanding; they merely get attention.

What kills me is the thinking of the 99 percenters, for example.  They have a mob mentality, believing in an ideology most of them do not understand.

I love nutty people and ‘out-of-the-box’ ideas, but these people are straight-up crazy!

I say that because I’ve visited the ‘Occupy’ campers in Portland, Seattle and Las Vegas and found that they really are quite confused about what they believe.  The only thing they are certain about is that they are opposed to so much.  And the most dangerous element to their dogma is that they don’t even understand what it is they disbelieve; and that’s why they find it so easy to hate.  All they know for sure is that they are in opposition to the establishment.

So many of the Occupiers are nothing more than insignificant elements in a giant monkey wrenching mob.  Their individuality and freedoms are so easily given to those who tell them what to say and what to hate.

Of course this does not apply to all of the Occupiers, however it does apply to almost all of them to whom I have spoken.

There was one very sharp member of the Anonymous group who I met in Las Vegas and who demonstrated a good understanding of our Constitution, what freedom and liberty mean and who was even familiar with Dr. Bruce Lipton and Epigenetics.  I was impressed and we had a great conversation that lasted a couple of hours.  He even called Obama a dictator, which made me laugh, but he added that all of our Presidents are dictators.  That was the end of the conversation for me.  Those broad generalizations are counter productive.

Healthy debate is the key to enlightenment.  If more people would openly seek greater understanding and be willing to break down their misunderstandings this world would be full of truth and progress (not progressivISM).

Question everything and learn for yourself the truth of all things!





Where has accountability gone?

20 04 2011

I don’t normally like to post news items as blog posts but this one got me fired up.  This issue of homosexuality is a sensitive one.  If any of you have read most of my blog you know my opinions.  If you have skimmed and not taken the time to actually understand my position you might think I’m a bigot.  That is fine with me, I am not a bigot and I don’t have animosity or hatred toward any individual.

I have problems with many prevailing philosophies, dogmas and tenets.

There is nothing wrong with standing on our principles.  We all need to stand up for what we believe.  Too many people today trade their values for the clamoring and whining of the weak, who fail to stand on any firm foundation.  They give in because of emotion, sensitivity and sympathy.  Empathy is a virtue we should all live by, but sympathizing with causes in contrast with our core values is destructive to our being.  There is a critical difference between empathy and sympathy.  Ignorance and lack of understanding lead people down paths of confusion and this is happening in the halls of academia more and more; at the elite universities that were once standards of greatness.

It has become very trite and cliche, but it is true that if we stand for nothing we will fall for anything.  United we stand; divided we fall; and how much proactive divisiveness do we see going on today?

The principles and philosophies that this nation were founded upon are as solid today as they were back then.  The problem is not the principles but the misunderstanding and misinterpretation of them by people today who allow their emotions to interfere with reason.

On to the new item that started this outburst.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110420/ap_on_re_us/us_rutgers_suicide

You can’t punish one person for the choices another person makes!  That’s just not right.  The news story reports that, in short, a Rutgers student who was an aspiring violinist had a gay trist with another man in his dorm room and the roommate caught it on a webcam.  According to the article it was a make-out session.

For anyone to believe that THIS one incident alone is what caused this young man to kill himself is completely short sighted.  This certainly was a catalyst, but was merely one piece of a much larger  puzzle that made up his life.  It doesn’t make sense to charge the roommate for the end result, an individual choice that another person made.  If you do that you have to go back throughout his life to all of the other factors and give them attention and blame as well.

If what was caught on camera was so shameful, that is an issue for the victim, not the roommate.   If we have private behaviors that we feel we must keep hidden from society then we are solely responsible for the humiliation we feel.  If we believe in what we are doing then we should stand tall in our beliefs, regardless of what society tells us.  If our actions are illegal or unethical or immoral then we will be judged for them, but again, if we believe in what we do we should stand tall in the face of ridicule.

Rutgers is way out of line. They brought Snookie in as a guest speaker and they’re punishing a kid for video taping his roommate?  There’s nothing illegal or unethical about rolling film in your own house.

We all know that this is an issue because it has to do with homosexuality.  If the victim had been making out with a fat chick (no offense to the overweight, but this is a valid argument) and then killed himself for shame it would have been observed as something out of kilter with his psychology due to HIS own choice.

I’m getting so tired of the over-sensitivity in this country. Pussification!! Where’s the grit and integrity gone?

OK, here I go into the realm of real offensive opinion — the world is a much bigger place than your imaginary bubble and the protective environment you wish you could live in.  The world is harsh and it WILL not change because we want it to. It is what it is, and always will be.  Political correctness is an illusion.   Politeness should be expected, not pandering.

There are rules, there are standards and there are laws that will not change due to our behaviors and desires.  Evolution does not work that way.  The changes that come about as a result of our behaviors have consequences, and those consequences will play out in time. We are all free to choose our path.  We are all free to choose our behavior, but we are never free to choose the consequences of our actions.





Daniel Johnston

29 03 2011

DanDaniel Johnston is one of my favorite artists.  If you’re unfamiliar with his work, to see one of his drawings or listen to one of his recordings you likely wouldn’t be terribly impressed.  But after hearing more of his work it becomes apparent that Daniel Johnston is an inspired visionary.  He is not the best performer in comparison to some more accomplished artists but if you have an understanding of what Daniel Johnston is about and what he lives for, his performances take on a whole new meaning.

Art and music flow from Daniel like water down the Nile.  He is unstoppable and it is as though he can’t help but create music and art.  He has many recurring themes throughout his art, mostly of battles between good and evil and the same themes run through his songs.  Much of what he sings about has to do with his affection for a never gotten love interest named Lori.   He met her in his youth and followed her with a video camera as his way of worshiping and admiring her.  He did get her to say, “I love you Danny” but that was only to satisfy him and she eventually went on to marry an undertaker who he used as the subject of many songs.

His mother would lecture him endlessly about his slothfulness and call him an unprofitable servant of the Lord (he would call himself an unserviceable prophet) as he spent all of his time drawing, writing and recording.  Daniel grew up with faith in his religion and a profound fear of hell and damnation.  He spoke often of Satan and the torment of the devil in his songs and in his conversations and lived in fear of losing his soul.  One therapist said about Daniel, after analyzing his drawings, that he is surely going to heaven because it’s obvious he has already been to hell.

Daniel finally realized one of his life long dreams by accident when MTV profiled the Austin music scene in the mid eighties.  Dan worked his way in front of the cameras, was interviewed and eventually given a spot live on MTV performing his songs.  The world was finally introduced to Daniel Johnston and his career began to bloom. But Daniel perceived the experience as a dichotomy or paradox in that MTV was serving the devil but there he was on MTV, just like he said he would as a kid.

When Dan was still pretty young he began to develop bi-polar disorder which became so severe he spent a lot of time in and out of many mental institutions.  He changed suddenly from a happy and care free young boy to a troubled and self loathing youth.

When he was in New York City spending time with the members of Sonic Youth he had a severe episode and was again sent to a mental facility.  He was accidentally released on a clerical error and found himself at CBGB that evening and opened up for the LA band fIREHOSE.

Daniel Johnston had many extreme episodes of mania where he would essentially lose touch with reality.  One time he was in his father’s private airplane, his father piloting and he turned the engine off and threw the keys out the window.  The airplane crash landed in the trees and both were uninjured.  Another time he whacked his manager over the head with a lead pipe three times.  Daniel has been quoted as saying, “I whammed him, I whammed him good“.  After these episodes he again found himself committed to mental institutions where he realized the horror of what he had done.

As Dan got older and into his forties he went back to living with his parents, taking his meds and focusing on writing and playing music.  Dan tours the world and elsewhere performing his music to the delight of devoted fans.  Sometimes his shows are sub-par and sometimes they are purely brilliant.  True fans love his performances either way.

God bless Daniel Johnston.  The poor man has been tormented all of his life and he has produced some amazing art and beautiful songs.  Over 400 artists have covered his music including Beck, fIREHOSE, Sonic Youth, Death Cab for Cutie, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Built to Spill and Pearl Jam.

Daniel’s life has been chronicled in the movie “The Devil and Daniel Johnston“.  It spans over twenty years of Daniel’s life as he had recorded most of his life on video and audio tape.  Learn more about Daniel Johnston at his fan site rejectedunknown.com

(some images used without permission of the artist)








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