Love and Pain are One in the Same

28 03 2016

[photo by vaughn brown – model Cydney Young]

575813_527037100669051_2081773692_nLove is a two way street. It flows and it ebbs. It gives and receives.

Love does not take.

Anger takes and anger abuses the loving places withing our heart spaces where love once lived, from where love was given.

If love is not given back to fill empty love places within our empty heart spaces our hearts break and make sad faces.

Do not take love unless you have love to give.

Only receive love if you want love to help your life live.

Then plant that love in your heart to let it grow, then let your heart flow unto another space within loving heart’s grace.

So that beauty may abound with all hearts around in a loving place to give loving grace in the heart space where love once lived and was given to another to fulfill a dream and uplift a spirit to dream and cast away fate and find unimaginable joy with another’s love, to be entangled in a beautiful tapestry of colorful, creative joy and compassionate kindness to help us find wisdom and beauty around to abound in a rainbow like dream where our thoughts can unwind and our cares fall away like the cocoon of a new growing butterfly’s wing.

To take flight through the grace of a loving Creator’s stroke of a colorful brush of life to breathe and to grow to flow and to know and to be and to see and to give back and never attack but defend to the end without hesitation or trepidation encumbering ways for selfishness pays a recompense that cannot be accounted for when the heart is given away and broken down forgotten about for a short time of thoughtless pacification and selfish abandon of the fortress you used and abused to take flight in the night when you were scared and unprepared to survive or to thrive through the battle of another love-storm where you were forlorn to take from the heart of a man who would live and give and give back and not attack or demand but sit empty and destitute when the war was over because you got yours and were protected by him given dreams fulfilled in the fantasies of your mind to use his loving grace and compassionate face to hold up and show up then throw away when he was a man with empty heart spaces having given but never received because he was never fulfilled or refilled after giving his love and his life to fill your empty spaces you tossed him away like a horse out to pasture with laughter and sought after another to fill your empty heart space because you took his and did not use it wisely and killed his heart like a murdering Jezebel or thief in the night taking what you saw that could get you by for another day with no regard for the hurt you left behind and the anguish and pain you filled a loving man’s heart spaces to fall away and have nothing more to give or receive.

But he did not die because his loving Savior replaced the false ugly waste you filled in the place of his empty heart space.

You killed me and left me for dead because my heart was hurt but I gave it to you to refill the empty spaces taken from the abuse of the man before me and you killed my heart and took my children and trashed my name when all I ever did was work hard and fill the empty spaces in your heart.

But you got filled up and fulfilled and then you saw chinks in my armor that were put there, battling for you, battle scars to save you from a monster who abused you and I only loved you and gave my life to you and when I was battle weary you cast me away like an old worn out shoe or a battle scarred coat of armor that once shined to protect your gentle and loving heart.

I gave my strength to you to use to rebuild your esteem and when you sprouted up, back into life, you cast me away like an old broken down tool and took our children and played out a new narrative to pacify your mind after having destroyed my esteem after I gave you my all and all of my love to you without asking anything in return.

And I self medicated so that I could be strong for you but you did not want to understand why or give a thought about how I could do that to give my heart space out of compassionate grace to an angel in need a beautiful princess whose beauty I found unimaginable and so I gave my heart to it because she was in need such beauty to see and to love and to receive and give back in return for she was the passion I desired in love and it came without bounds and filled my empty heart spaces when I was broken down and hurting and trying to fill my heart spaces with something good and her beautify and love fit me like a glove in those spaces so nice and made me feel like a prince.

Alive once again to take flight on the wings of a dove to get my life back and attack all that had gotten me down until I almost drowned in my own iniquity and sorrow having lost at loves battle from a woman who promised for eternity to be honest but did not fulfill the bill and used her free will to kill my heart and ill my life to take from me my livelihood grace and demand more from the courts like a whore where she wrote laws and forced law and like cat paws on my skin to cut within and give pain and drain me from my resources so that she could fill her empty heart places with things she did not understand or try to comprehend until the end as she covenanted with me and the angels on high through God’s grace pacify my wounds she would not but took from me like a hook in fishes mouth to lead and bleed from all that I needed to keep her pacified until I die she will always deny the truth she abused from a loving man’s heart that she killed with a knife like a thief in the night.

I gave what they demanded of me to pacify their needs to fulfill their heart’s dreams not asking for anything in return, nor expecting anything to be paid back but all I got was abuse from the lack of love to be given to fill my heart’s empty spaces after letting them lean on me and fill their empty heart spaces with my love to combine and move forward in time without me, to be free, cast away like a flea, to never be remembered or given honor in heaven, just to be used and abused to be amused in life without strife not a wife or a husband to be loved with the beauty above but ugliness on the ground all around to expound upon his giving grave when you tossed it all back in his face to make haste with a race you could not keep up nor sleep up in time with a fellow not mellow whose beauty unkind not like mine to use and abuse throughout time.

But I will not forget the morning sunrise to recollect and ponder upon a perception you asked how could a love last as it was given to you to fill your empty heart’s place like a puzzle from grace from the space that we made and had when we were glad about life without strife coming down to abound all around our hearts measure to never deliver the deceiver within with a pen to take down to the end and give back in attack when your heart’s Cadillac could not track the traces upon faces you left ingratiated.

There are times in my mind when I find so unkind the love of a Jezebel who put me through hell to dwell upon cases out of court without braces.  To pacify a need in time with mine taken from my heart spaces, the children we love, who fit us like a glove to love and give love but you used it to attack like cat scratch on a mat that left me to bleed and supersede the throng that went on and on in my mind throughout time never again to be born or forlorn from a heart’s loving grace to make emptiness space.

And if it were not for the grace of a loving son’s face, my savior he saved me from societies game.

The love and compassion from my greatest brother from above, the great I am, yes indeed  Sam I am, with green eggs and ham.  He pacified my lonely heart’s break never again to undertake a carpenter’s will without bill or some skill to be used and abused without will to fulfill until the last day when we all pray for blessing above to help us to recover enough to be strong and unwind without bounds to be around and not frown but remember the loving uncovering endeavor you took to make space without grace in his face.

And it’s time to unwind from your  mind second time to give rest to all recompense to get love when lost love was taken to trash that you trashed for your won battle axe

And now it is time to unwind and dine upon feast without grief like the thief she gave relief from a good loving man whose hand was bound to the ground for monetary’s sake must we break bread to undertake the pain of love lost for a scorn.

And now you are confused because you abused without muse or pacification all around like a clown showing off with a frown to be sad and not glad.  To under achieve for a need for your greed to succeed to be trained and left out to hang out and be without but not without love from above to help a man who has a plan but you demand an agenda from on high that abides like a mouse in his sleep to keep me from knowing, not growing and lonely forlorning like a glove from a dove this amount does not count and again you are confused by rules that you enforce with divorce.

Rights taken but not given will live on in Heaven where love will abound without you like a clown in need, yes indeed my pretty princess subside.

But if you will with your skill try to fill my bill with a thrill I will allow you to explain with the pain that remains because Christ has come over me from Christi to Erica Gandy and I am allowed to be proud and not let my mouth give a frown.  To be undone to undermine is not the cause because love was given then driven into the ground without women.

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Cure For Depression In The Year 2015

19 06 2015

Put down, get away from, or unplug whatever screen has your attention and go create something of beauty, anything, but do it without your electronic device.

Cook a meal from scratch out of our imagination, make something new.

Draw a picture of yourself, then do it again.

Get out of the slavery and bondage of the Internet!

It is a web that is catching its prey.

The World Wide Web.

always watching

always watching

And it has caught humanity as its victim and they don’t even realize it.





Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen

21 01 2015

vbpnderanceMany are called but few are chosen.

And why are they not chosen? Because they put their hearts and minds on the things of this world and wish for status and to dominate over others with authority.

We are all called to do a great work, and sometimes we are released from our callings, to see if we will continue in the work…and THAT is how we become Chosen.

It is a call to service, to keep the two great and only Commandments given to us by Christ. Love the Lord, and serve our brothers and sisters. The ten commandments were given to the Jews by Moses. These are OUR Commandments.

If we learn to do those two things while we are called, and continue to do them after we are released, we become Chosen.





Connect The Dots, Through The Labrirynth To Finally Find Obama’s Real Father — Proof Right Here Frank Marshall Davis is Obama’s Daddy

12 01 2014

I’ve demonstrated undeniably with the historical evidence and research to back it up that Barack Obama is a Communist.  And in my last blog post I said that that evidence and proof wasn’t even the smoking gun in all of this.

Then what is the smoking gun?  Because that certainly in and of itself is a  bombshell of a scandal of proportions the world has never known.  This is Biblical!

The smoking gun is the evidence and proof of who Barack Obama’s real father is.  At this point, politically for our Nation, it really makes no difference who his father is.  But to reassure ourselves of just how diabolical and real this conspiracy is, it’s important to comprehend the connections Obama has, his ties to his power base and how they diverge and unfold and, the source from whence he sprang forth upon our lives.

And I’m sure you’re asking yourself, then why isn’t the media picking up on these things if they’re true?

It’s because it is even deeper than Obama being a Communist shill or his father being Frank Marshall Davis.  And after all of this reasearch I’ll guide us into the reality of shadow governments who really control what is going on in this world and in this country.  We have been taken over by a power so big, so vast, so enormous that it would create panic and hysteria if the media were to even begin to touch upon it.  That is why there are stories out there created to make those who find these horrifying truths look like they are making things up, like they are sensationalists and who are nothing more than story tellers for attention’s sake.

They are diabolical schemers and they know how to turn the knobs, how little moves, over time influence large bodies of thought and they create entire philosphies and paradigms by which societies construct themselves.  And no, aliens are not involved.  It’s basic Biblical good versus evil Satan versus God type stuff.  Take or leave it, this is the truth.  Christ is the pinnacle of it all and thank Heavens for that comforting knowledge.

But it’s still important to be a part of these things as they take place, because we are the very instruments by which our Creator propogates his will upon mankind.  It’s not forced nor are we compelled to do His will, but there is a plan, and a set of rules by nature that we must adhere to.  And if we don’t, the consequences play out with horrors, famines, wars, murders, conspiracies, natural disasters, because when you go against natural law, natural consequences are the result.

It’s not God being angry, it’s merely the result of our ignorance and rebellion against historical truth.  Mankind is making it up as he goes along these days.  No longer do we look to the tried and true tenets of spiritual strength upon which to build our foundations of business, personal, family and social life, we do things based on our bodily pleasure responses and emotional desires.  In short, everything society is aiming toward is pacification of the self.

And that is directly in contrast to the entire plan from the very beginning.

Now, back to Obama’s daddy.

Why does all of this matter and how does it correlate?

It correlates because the opposing forces know that society operates on the assumption that our emotional needs will be satisfied by the programs they introduce to us.

The Affordable Care Act, for example.  There’s good and bad intertwined and the bottom line in all of it is usurption of power by the government over its people.  The proponents glorify the benefits, the opponents magnify the flaws, but the whole of the matter goes unnoticed because of the rancor and debate within its fabric. Much like the analogy of not seeing the forrest for the trees.

And all of this rancor and debate is by design of the higher-ups in power.  They know that this is the only way by which they will be able to overcome the strength of the American Federation.

Dissention within the ranks is the tool of the adversary, it is the poison used to demoralize and corrupt the innocence of humanity and the cancerous tumor that is growing without bounds in this  nation.

And Barack Obama has been used by a powerful opposing force to bring about this very destruction from within.  And he is doing it callously and with meticulous precision at every turn.  Sandy Hook, the chemical spill in West Virginia, the oil spill in the Gulf.  He truly is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and the Fabian Socialists coat of arms bears a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  You can see it for yourself if you to the research.

…more to come.

In the nineteen fivties there was a CIA





Where has accountability gone?

20 04 2011

I don’t normally like to post news items as blog posts but this one got me fired up.  This issue of homosexuality is a sensitive one.  If any of you have read most of my blog you know my opinions.  If you have skimmed and not taken the time to actually understand my position you might think I’m a bigot.  That is fine with me, I am not a bigot and I don’t have animosity or hatred toward any individual.

I have problems with many prevailing philosophies, dogmas and tenets.

There is nothing wrong with standing on our principles.  We all need to stand up for what we believe.  Too many people today trade their values for the clamoring and whining of the weak, who fail to stand on any firm foundation.  They give in because of emotion, sensitivity and sympathy.  Empathy is a virtue we should all live by, but sympathizing with causes in contrast with our core values is destructive to our being.  There is a critical difference between empathy and sympathy.  Ignorance and lack of understanding lead people down paths of confusion and this is happening in the halls of academia more and more; at the elite universities that were once standards of greatness.

It has become very trite and cliche, but it is true that if we stand for nothing we will fall for anything.  United we stand; divided we fall; and how much proactive divisiveness do we see going on today?

The principles and philosophies that this nation were founded upon are as solid today as they were back then.  The problem is not the principles but the misunderstanding and misinterpretation of them by people today who allow their emotions to interfere with reason.

On to the new item that started this outburst.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110420/ap_on_re_us/us_rutgers_suicide

You can’t punish one person for the choices another person makes!  That’s just not right.  The news story reports that, in short, a Rutgers student who was an aspiring violinist had a gay trist with another man in his dorm room and the roommate caught it on a webcam.  According to the article it was a make-out session.

For anyone to believe that THIS one incident alone is what caused this young man to kill himself is completely short sighted.  This certainly was a catalyst, but was merely one piece of a much larger  puzzle that made up his life.  It doesn’t make sense to charge the roommate for the end result, an individual choice that another person made.  If you do that you have to go back throughout his life to all of the other factors and give them attention and blame as well.

If what was caught on camera was so shameful, that is an issue for the victim, not the roommate.   If we have private behaviors that we feel we must keep hidden from society then we are solely responsible for the humiliation we feel.  If we believe in what we are doing then we should stand tall in our beliefs, regardless of what society tells us.  If our actions are illegal or unethical or immoral then we will be judged for them, but again, if we believe in what we do we should stand tall in the face of ridicule.

Rutgers is way out of line. They brought Snookie in as a guest speaker and they’re punishing a kid for video taping his roommate?  There’s nothing illegal or unethical about rolling film in your own house.

We all know that this is an issue because it has to do with homosexuality.  If the victim had been making out with a fat chick (no offense to the overweight, but this is a valid argument) and then killed himself for shame it would have been observed as something out of kilter with his psychology due to HIS own choice.

I’m getting so tired of the over-sensitivity in this country. Pussification!! Where’s the grit and integrity gone?

OK, here I go into the realm of real offensive opinion — the world is a much bigger place than your imaginary bubble and the protective environment you wish you could live in.  The world is harsh and it WILL not change because we want it to. It is what it is, and always will be.  Political correctness is an illusion.   Politeness should be expected, not pandering.

There are rules, there are standards and there are laws that will not change due to our behaviors and desires.  Evolution does not work that way.  The changes that come about as a result of our behaviors have consequences, and those consequences will play out in time. We are all free to choose our path.  We are all free to choose our behavior, but we are never free to choose the consequences of our actions.





Freedom of Choice and the Consequences of Liberty

7 03 2011

We all stand on the principles, as Americans, that we are a free people and that we have our liberties; freedom of choice and liberty of will.  These are rights granted to us by our constitution.  We claim them as unalienable rights, granted to us by divine providence through the laws of Nature, Virtue and common Morality.  These are the principles of the Anglo Saxon pioneers who founded this land and established our first colonies and these are the principles our founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, John Adams and George Washington followed after in drafting the timeless and inspired documents of freedom and independence that we stand on to claim these freedoms from oppressive government rule locally and around the world.

When these freedoms are encroached upon by unrighteous governmental dominion we have the responsibility as citizens of this great republic to speak our minds and make our voices heard in the halls of education, administration and before the judges who stand in place to enforce our laws and interpret our constitutional rights and freedoms.  Our administrators and judges are not in place to exercise dominion over us or to enforce laws upon us without merit or justification.  And when we find ourselves being subjected to restrictions by our government officials based on the laws that they have enacted for the gain of power and control over the freedoms of the commonwealth of the people, we have a responsibility to be informed, to understand our laws, to understand our constitutional rights and to stand up and be heard so we as brothers and sisters do not fall to the tyranny of government oppression.

I find it troubling that too many people in this day and age complain about the ills of society, about what they see as not fair or what they claim as unconstitutional, or what new laws they claim should be enacted by congress and interpreted by the courts.  These are mostly based on precedents set by previous judgments by higher courts and powerful lawyers, bending our freedoms to the wills of lobbyists and powerful special interest groups who do not serve the interests of the commonwealth and only exist to increase their own wealth and fill their pockets by greed and by ruling industry and corporations, by raising taxes, by increasing costs and by controlling the supply of goods and services to the people.

I find it troubling that too many people, when they feel oppressed in any way look to the government for solutions to their societal struggles rather than looking within themselves for answers, to stand up in the face of tyranny and choose liberty and freedom of oppressive rule and excessive restriction to natural resources, jobs and the blessings of prosperity divinely granted over time as we have grown and prospered as a nation and throughout the world.

I find it troubling that too many people seek government rule as a means to an end of social problems when these problems have been created as a result of the people themselves exercising irresponsibly the constitutional rights granted them in our founding documents.

I find it troubling that rather than with reason and the acceptance of personal responsibility, too many people point their fingers in accusation against others and find fault in the actions of others rather than looking inward for solutions to the things that trouble them.

We are not responsible for the actions of our fellow citizens, but we are responsible for the actions of ourselves and we are responsible as citizens of this free republic to hold our fellow citizens accountable for the abuse of their freedoms and their irresponsible and selfish behavior when taking advantage of unnecessary government hand outs and misguided solutions to societal ills and social problems.

We are responsible to defend the freedoms and rights we are granted in the constitutions of our own states, our community charters, the rules enacted by our local administrative bodies and the freedoms granted by the constitution and bill of rights of this nation.

We are responsible to be familiar with the words of our constitutions; our state and national constitutions, our bills of rights, the laws enacted by our legislative bodies, the powers that our elected officials are exercising over us and the rules of the judges and the precedents set by them by their interpretation of the arguments of lawyers which in many cases are presented only to justify the poor decisions of their wealthy clients and to line their pockets with the money these greedy individual can afford to pay them.  To get away with their unethical acts by circumventing the rule of law based on precedents established by the twisting of words and misinterpretation of our freedoms and liberties stated in our founding documents.

Changes in our constitutional freedoms come about by the actions of the people and the special interests of those who have power given them by their status in society because of their wealth.  For no other reason than that they have the ability to reward those who will hear them because they can most quickly satisfy the greed of the bureaucrats and line their pockets with filthy lucre rather than provide and enforce our already established laws and defend our freedoms and liberties as a great commonwealth of a virtuous and moral people.

It is time for us to stand up and be informed.  It is time for us to stand up and be educated about the things that are happening in the halls of congress and the  legislative powers that we have elected, who are now enforcing greater laws, taxes and oppression on our heads in the name of correcting problems in a private society brought on by the greed of special interest groups such as the pharmaceutical companies, medical industry and insurance conglomerates.

It is time for us to stand up and solve these problems with private industry, with technology, with the bright minds of our educated youth and the coming together of people who have vision for our future and the survival of this great nation.  To never let the oppressive rule of government bureaucracies encumber our ability to thrive and progress as a nation, as a people, as families and as individuals in our pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.

It is time for us to come together and stand in defense of our constitution, to cast our votes responsibly and to elect individuals who have a correct understanding of morality, ethical standards and virtuous character.  To elect individuals who have their eyes and minds set on a course of healing, of progress and of constructive management of resources and who will enforce our laws as they have been established without unnecessarily enacting greater laws as some disingenuous solution to misunderstood or misinterpreted laws already passed or because of the uninformed and ignorant complaints of lazy people; to satisfy their own desires to retain the power of their offices and their status as government officials.

It is time for us to elect officials who will stand up for our freedoms to progress and to pursue life, liberty and happiness without oppressive taxation without representation, who will not encumber our progress with governmental bureaucracies established by the lust for power and for the creation of comfortable positions of status over our communities and our society.

It is time for us as a people to remind our officials that they have been elected by a commonwealth to be public servants and that they have not been elected so that they can sit in their positions of status as paid tyrants to enforce unjust restrictions over our freedoms of divinely granted will.

It is time for us to take back our states and take back our nation and take back our freedoms.  It is time for us to take back our communities.  It is time for us to take back our families from educators who grant themselves authority over our children by the mandates of the unions and the rhetoric and agendas of special interest groups who wish to control the minds of our youth to meet their ends.  To satisfy their greed and their lust for control because of their want to excuse themselves from ethical and moral behavior based on the tenets of virtue and moral character as written in our founding documents and stated by our founding fathers.

It is time for us to remind our educators and the authorities of education that we are the parents of these children and that we have given them the opportunity to educate our children and to teach them reading, writing, arithmetic, social studies, history, art, music, athletics, debate and language arts and that we pay them by our taxes and that it is our right to determine the discipline and exercise of moral authority over our children and over our families.  It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children correct principles of morality, character and virtue within the walls of our homes and to never expect our educators to be the proponents of these divine principles.

We must demand that our educators refrain from imposing their personal views of moral conduct and passive restriction on the freedoms, wills and minds of our bright and noble children and stop destroying their wills to create and express and grow into the amazing individuals who are the future generations of leadership and who will guide this country on into the future. Our children should be taught to be standards of liberty and freedom throughout the world, to spread democracy to nations around the world.

It is time!

(some images used without artist’s permission)





Sources

5 03 2011

During all the controversy I’ve created among my circle of friends and family with my thoughts and opinions I’ve come to find that they want sources for my insights.  I have failed to provide the sources of my research, therefore I am being accused of lying and making things up.

In the future I will start to cite my sources but for now I’ll say that all of what I have gathered has come from the study of a combination of sources.  Many of which will go against the  grain of many peoples comfort but these are my conclusions based on research of the best books I have found in life.  And one of the things I was taught as a child was to find truth from the best books, and I have held on to that as a standard of guidance for my life, to answer the questions I come up against throughout my trials and they have served me well as I now have inner peace and calm and I am in balance with what I believe is divine nature, God.

People in my life accuse me of many things but I have come to this by work, research, experience, living life, making mistakes, making choices, exercising reason and applying these things to my daily life.  These are all the things the people in my life who are accusing me of wrong doing are telling me to do, and I do them, and these are the results.  So why are they pointing fingers at me?  I think the confusion is with them, not with me.  I am fine and I am free.

My primary sources are the cannon of scripture from the LDS church.  The King James version of the bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price, along with many translations of ancient Egyptian writings from the times of the pharaohs.  I also follow after the philosophies of the ancient Roman philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero, coupled with the reason and integrity of our founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, John Adams and George Washington.

Recently I have been privileged to have been enlightened by the teachings of Dr. Bruce Lipton, a microbiologist who has done stem cell research  since 1967 and who has pioneered the new bio-science of epigenetics.

Thanks for following along.  Comments are welcome,  please check your anger at the door.  This is discussion of important matters that pertain to life.  Humor is welcome always!

(top image used without artist permission)








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