31 07 2017

I’m in contact with my kids finally after so many years and it has been great but it has just been online.  I did talk to one of my daughters on the phone, that was wonderful.  I feel so isolated, alone and I don’t really like anything about this world anymore except my relationships with my kids.

If I had a brother, son, dad who were in my position, I’d do anything to make him feel loved, safe, at home, comfortable.  But I have been through things that have humbled me and given me a different perspective I suppose than most people have.  Life should not be so complicated with drama, schedules, electronic devices and constant stimulus.  There should be time for calm, and peace and tranquility.  Society is bent on distracting us from the things that are sacred, Holy, uplifting and good in our lives.  Like having the time to read a book that has value for our lives.  We don’t sit in silence to read, we listen to the book spoken while we drive and eat fast food.

And the thing that is wrecking American social standards is the electronic hand held device of choice.  People are isolated behind their screens and headphones.  It’s not natural.  Technology has encumbered our social progress.  Social networking is not real socialization at all.  It is isolation, fantasy and showing off.  The art of writing a letter and sending it through the mail and having it saved by the recipient is lost on email and texting.

I guess I’m done with my rant for the moment.  I miss my kids so bad it hurts.  I just want to be face to face with them, to see their smiles and look in their eyes and hear them speak and laugh with each other.  I feel so alone.  I need my kids in my life.  I wish somebody would rescue me from this.  All I can do is wait, be patient and have faith.  I guess tomorrow will be a better day.  My heart aches for the love of my children.  They are all that matters to me.




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