A year in review prologue

27 12 2007

1.12.11 – Three years later I see this post and realize that it was just the beginning of a long road of challenge and change that would smooth me into the being I am today

What a year this has been. I’ll wrap it up in a mighty long future blog post, but I want to start with a preface of sorts. This year started with me being broke and unsettled (not quite homeless), not knowing what would happen from day to day and wondering if life was even worth living. The only thing I had to live for was my children. I felt like I was free falling, thrashing around, trying to grab on to anything I could to calm the madness in my head. On the outside I appeared relatively OK but on the inside there was a storm raging. Only my closest friends had any idea of what what going on.

I used to be angry. Now I’m happy. 2007 is the year that it all changed for me. For the first time in my life I have been able to embrace lasting success and happiness without the self defeating sabotage I usually thrust upon myself.

In a nutshell, divorce ****ed me up. It was a mental game of 52 card pickup. Everything in my life was tossed in the air and scattered. It was up to me to put things back together in the right order. I haven’t done things quite right but I have my sights set on what’s right.

I’m not living the most ideal life according to my ancestral expectations and values but to compare where I came from to where I am now, and where I am headed I see an exciting and wonderful life ahead. There are some circumstances in my life that are beyond my control and that are sort of keeping me in a holding pattern but I am happy to be here, holding on tight and enjoying the love of life I get with a woman who allows me to be the best me I can be. Good god this is sappy shit, but this is what I’ve become. I’m happy and in love and I expect 2008 to be a breakout year.

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3 responses

5 07 2008
Dan H.

Wish you the best! and many more……..Take care….Dan

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7 01 2008
calmerthanyouare

Keep your hands inside at all times and fasten your seatbelt. The ride is about to begin…

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7 01 2008
girlsnap

Thanks for making my holidays… HOLIDAYS. Can’t wait for this new year together!

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