A year in review prologue

What a year this has been. I’ll wrap it up in a mighty long future blog post, but I want to start with a preface of sorts. This year started with me being broke and unsettled (not quite homeless), not knowing what would happen from day to day and wondering if life was even worth living. The only thing I had to live for was my children. I felt like I was free falling, thrashing around, trying to grab on to anything I could to calm the madness in my head. On the outside I appeared relatively OK but on the inside there was a storm raging. Only my closest friends had any idea of what what going on.

I used to be angry. Now I’m happy. 2007 is the year that it all changed for me. For the first time in my life I have been able to embrace lasting success and happiness without the self defeating sabotage I usually thrust upon myself.

In a nutshell, divorce fucked me up. It was a mental game of 52 card pickup. Everything in my life was tossed in the air and scattered. It was up to me to put things back together in the right order. I haven’t done things quite right but I have my sights set on what’s right. Dang, maybe I should be a rappa.

I’m not living the most ideal life according to my ancestral expectations and values but to compare where I came from to where I am now, and where I am headed I see an exciting and wonderful life ahead. There are some circumstances in my life that are beyond my control and that are sort of keeping me in a holding pattern but I am happy to be here, holding on tight and enjoying the love of life I get with a woman who allows me to be the best me I can be. Good god this is sappy shit, but this is what I’ve become. I’m happy and in love and I expect 2008 to be a breakout year.

Politics and religion in the 2008 race

Why Mike Huckabee will never be win the presidency

We often hear people say never to mix politics and religion. For people of faith, that is impossible. Those who don’t follow any particular religious tenets may be able to separate the two issues. But because their lives are not founded on a faith in God they misunderstand that faith inherently guides every ethical and moral decision. Therefore politics and religion go hand in hand.

The arguments for separation of church and state are taken to unreasonable extremes by factions who are opposed to religion based morality, faith in God and the structure that adherence to the ten commandments brings into the lives of Christians. Those on the outside looking in see it as restrictive. Those on the inside see it as safety and comfort in a world of turmoil.

That brings me to the recent happenings within the GOP presidential race. We have Mitt Romney, an LDS man with a squeaky clean record but with a controversial fath, and Mike Huckabee with a seriously right wing Christian history who tends to fan the flames that the left wingers carry for their hatred of the Christian right.

I think Mitt Romney’s recent address to us about his faith flipped a switch in Huckabee that has caused him to start speaking as a man of faith more than a politician. The problem I see for Huckabee is that his extreme right wing whacko tendencies are coming out and unfortunately for him, I see it being his demise.

I think Mike Huckabee is a good man with a good moral compass. The one thing I find difficult, and this goes for all of the ‘fundamentalist’ Christian types, is that they come down with such black and white, judgmental force on certain moral issues facing America today that they draw a dividing line rather than uniting people. Issues like abortion, homosexuality and sin in general make guys like that spew hellfire and brimstone rather than hope and unity.

America needs some change and I personally believe that America’s moral compass is broken, but the last thing that is going to help is someone from the Southern bible belt wagging his finger and telling everyone that we’re all in a spiritual darkness and that God is punishing us with earthquakes, floods and the plague of AIDS. That is not the job of a president and that is why he is never going to be the president.

Mitt Romney’s speech defending and clarifying his faith was one of the best political moves he could have made. Not only did it distinguish him as a man with a firm resolve for what is right and what is wrong but it made his most formidable opponent step up and promptly shoot himself in the foot with his whacky Christian right rhetoric.

I’m not saying I necessarily disagree with Huckabee’s views, but his heavy handed preaching is too rich for my blood and it’s definitely no way to win the GOP nomination. I sure don’t want that in my president and America would never go for it either. Can you imagine a guy like that in meetings with Ahmadinejad? Nukes would be flying in no time.

A president needs to be a leader, to uplift and bring people together. If Mike Huckabee wants a chance he has to stop ringing that division bell and show himself as a man of compassion and understanding. I can see him following in the footsteps of our favorite right wing Pats, Buchanan and Robertson, working the talking head circuit to pimp their latest writings on why America is doomed.

Oh, the intellectual heights you can reach with text messaging!

This is a conversation I just had with Lance via SMS using Verizon’s vast wireless infrastructure.

Lance: Let’s get together, put on leather helmets and club each other to Yanni’s greatest hits.

Me: I agree with all of that except for the part about Yanni’s hits being great.

Lance: It’s a comparative way of ranking Yanni’s songs differentiating his master works from lesser filler efforts within his wide, all encompassing catalog. It’s not a personal assessment of Yanni “the artist’s” degree of suckitude.

Me: Well, if the ranks are based on the scale of suckitude then greatness is relative whether good, bad or suckish. His greatest suckiness would indeed be considered great among the greatest of sucks.

Lance: Well, sure. That’s a given. I’m not arguing that. I’m simply saying that I have the helmets and clubs right now.

Happiness

It’s up to us whether we will be happy or not. Our surroundings, our environment, our circumstances…they are all secondary to what we feel inside.

We can choose to be happy with what we have, or not. If we don’t like what we have then we are faced with a choice. The choice is to change those things or remain with them. If we remain with them and we are unhappy then we have chosen to be unhappy.

I choose to move forward and pave my own way. I choose to set my mind on the light ahead rather than the darkness behind me. Life is a journey and should be experienced with enthusiasm and anticipation for what’s coming around the next corner. The unknown is as scary as it is envigorating so I’m going to jump in with both feet and make my mark on this world and my fingerprint is uniquely mine.

Future generations will determine what my residue has created and I anticipate the day I can look back from wherever I am and see the groove I’ve carved and the wave I’ve made and how powerful my life has been as it has intertwined with the lives of everyone else on this big blue marble.

Call me retarded…I’m an idiot

Sometimes I say things I don’t actually mean in hindsight. I have thoughts that are just random and when I’m having a conversation with someone I feel close to and can trust I don’t censor myself as much as maybe I should. I feel safe in just blurting out whatever pops into my head.

I’ve learned time and time again that it’s not necessarily safe to do so. People still take things literally and there are assumptions and conclusions drawn in their minds as to the meaning behind what I’ve said when in reality they’re just fragmented thoughts that get spoken with little or no meaning at all.

Think before we speak. Just do it, even if we feel completely safe with our present company.

Word.

Who are you feeding?

This story is as old as time and has been told in many different ways. People like the wisdom of old Indian chiefs and for some reason Cherokee seems to be the preferred tribe when telling tales of wisdom.

And as a side note, word has it that I come from a Cherokee blood line, although my family never kept and genealogical records so I have no idea how much injun I have in me. Evidently I have enough to keep my hairline securely fastened to my forehead…I can only hope I have some of that old Cherokee wisdom in my genes — stereotypes…sheesh.

An old Cherokee was teaching his young grandson about choice. He said to him, “A battle is raging inside me … it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The old man gave his young grandson a firm stare and said, “This same fight is going on inside of you.”

The child thought for a moment and asked, “Which wolf will win, grandfather?”

The wise old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”