From bad to worse…

Have you ever had one of those days? The day where just as things can’t get any worse…they do?

For example, you’re a mouse going for that morsel of cheese and just as you think you’ve got your hands on the catch of the day…BAM! The steel trap of surprise, humiliation and spinal damage slams down upon your neck. And, as if it can’t get any worse, you feel Jack Manson, the town mouse rapist, creeping up behind you for a little of the old in-out, in-out while you’re stranded and suffocating.

I thought Job had it bad until I saw this.

Adrenaline, wicker and mild retardation

I arrived home tonight and there the neighbor kids are, standing in the grass beating each other with a wicker cane. You know the kind…you saw it used on Michael Fay years ago. Remember the moron who vandalized Sri Lanka and was punished with a wicker beating in public? That kind of wicker cane.

So, I walked upstairs and watched for a while through my blinds as these brain surgeons took turns slapping one another across the torso. Of course I wanted to take my turn but would have probably been taken to jail for battery. It was only a couple minutes that I got to watch until it ended abruptly with one of them lying on the ground gasping for air after a shot to the solar plexes. It was a good and meaty smiting too, I could almost feel it myself and I’m sure it broke the skin…at least I hope so.

There were children present who witnessed this fine example of responsible and friendly play. They will likely remember this for a lifetime and hopefully repeat it, and raise the stakes for other unsuspecting onlookers.

Oh the experiences of youth…and the suffering of stupidity.