I spent the weekend with the boys. It was just me & Erica with Nathan & Spencer. Cassidy had a dance competition in St. George and Cali went to Disneyland with her ‘father’ for a week of fantasy, fun and overindulgence.
I took some pics this weekend too. Enjoy!
Nathan got a mood ring
Erica got a pedicure
She’s beautiful
I got Erica some roses
The weather was great so we went to the park
What a year this has been. I’ll wrap it up in a mighty long future blog post, but I want to start with a preface of sorts. This year started with me being broke and unsettled (not quite homeless), not knowing what would happen from day to day and wondering if life was even worth living. The only thing I had to live for was my children. I felt like I was free falling, thrashing around, trying to grab on to anything I could to calm the madness in my head. On the outside I appeared relatively OK but on the inside there was a storm raging. Only my closest friends had any idea of what what going on.
I used to be angry. Now I’m happy. 2007 is the year that it all changed for me. For the first time in my life I have been able to embrace lasting success and happiness without the self defeating sabotage I usually thrust upon myself.
In a nutshell, divorce fucked me up. It was a mental game of 52 card pickup. Everything in my life was tossed in the air and scattered. It was up to me to put things back together in the right order. I haven’t done things quite right but I have my sights set on what’s right. Dang, maybe I should be a rappa.
I’m not living the most ideal life according to my ancestral expectations and values but to compare where I came from to where I am now, and where I am headed I see an exciting and wonderful life ahead. There are some circumstances in my life that are beyond my control and that are sort of keeping me in a holding pattern but I am happy to be here, holding on tight and enjoying the love of life I get with a woman who allows me to be the best me I can be. Good god this is sappy shit, but this is what I’ve become. I’m happy and in love and I expect 2008 to be a breakout year.
How you doin’? It’s good to be back on the blogosphere. I took a bit of a hiatus to focus on life issues. They seem to have cleared up with a little help from my friends. My house is closing Thursday and the proverbial attached strings are finally being cut.
We had an incredible Thanksgiving weekend with the kids. For the first time in a long time I was able to have them for somewhat of an extended stay. They were with us from Wednesday through Sunday and every moment was precious. Erica isn’t exactly used to a house full of chaos and exuberance but she did an amazing job of adapting and being a wonderful ’step-mom’ (in quotes because while she plays the role very well, it is titular only at this point).
We even had the neighbors over on Friday night for a couple adult beverages and a rousing game of Beyond Balderdash. I really like them. They brought their kids over and we sent them upstairs and downstairs while we socialized and the night culminated in a sleepover for the little ones. They had a blast and we all made some new and better friends out of it.
We spent a lot of our weekend putting together our new acquisitions from IKEA. Beds, tables, chairs, picture frames, clocks, lamps, rugs, bedding, light fixtures…we splurged and decorated the shit out of our new home. Cali got a new bedroom fit for a princess and Cassidy got to move to her own room in the basement. Next weekend the boys get their new bunk bed!
Now for the pictorial. We made a mess with finger paints this weekend. The kids got their creativity on and globbed gooey finger paint all over their hands, their feet and the floor. We let the art dry and framed it for them to hang in their bedrooms. They are thrilled and so are we as our home comes together.
The kids all got together for the annual October pumpkin massacre. We had such a great time! Cali had her first shot at actually doing some damage, she poked the tools into any and every pumpkin surface she could get her hands on.
Spencer and Nathan carved their very own designs this year but poor little Cassidy was sick. She made an effort but had to bow out about half way through her design because she started feeling sick so her enthusiasm was a little low this year. Get better sweetheart, we love you!
I can’t describe the gratitude I have for these sweet children in my life. They make me so happy and give me so much to live for and look forward to.
Thanks Erica for the awesome photos!
Have you ever had one of those days? The day where just as things can’t get any worse…they do?
For example, you’re a mouse going for that morsel of cheese and just as you think you’ve got your hands on the catch of the day…BAM! The steel trap of surprise, humiliation and spinal damage slams down upon your neck. And, as if it can’t get any worse, you feel Jack Manson, the town mouse rapist, creeping up behind you for a little of the old in-out, in-out while you’re stranded and suffocating.
I thought Job had it bad until I saw this.
It’s up to us whether we will be happy or not. Our surroundings, our environment, our circumstances…they are all secondary to what we feel inside.
We can choose to be happy with what we have, or not. If we don’t like what we have then we are faced with a choice. The choice is to change those things or remain with them. If we remain with them and we are unhappy then we have chosen to be unhappy.
I choose to move forward and pave my own way. I choose to set my mind on the light ahead rather than the darkness behind me. Life is a journey and should be experienced with enthusiasm and anticipation for what’s coming around the next corner. The unknown is as scary as it is envigorating so I’m going to jump in with both feet and make my mark on this world and my fingerprint is uniquely mine.
Future generations will determine what my residue has created and I anticipate the day I can look back from wherever I am and see the groove I’ve carved and the wave I’ve made and how powerful my life has been as it has intertwined with the lives of everyone else on this big blue marble.
